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Over a Game of Checkers

A Jon Post

There it was sitting in a cardboard box marked “Free”… a small fold-in-half checker/chess board. Just the week before I had learned the Mozambican method of playing checkers using bottle caps and a tattered old cardboard box with a checkers board drawn on it in fading ball point pen ink. When I saw the plastic board I immediately thought of the men at the hospital and figured it would be a nice upgrade from their torn cardboard. The actual checker pieces were missing but the nice, bright, glossy squares were more than enough turn my eye, put my hand into the “Free box” and tuck the board under my arm.

I left the garage/home sale (some missionaries were leaving town and were trying to get rid of the things they would not be taking with them) and, upon arriving home, promptly forgot I had the checkers board. It lay dormant under the stairs for weeks until, upon a thorough cleaning of the house, I stumbled upon it again and, not thinking much about it, put it near the door so I would not forget to take it to the hospital with me.

When I arrived with it the next day, most of the men I played checkers with were already outside playing on their makeshift cardboard set. Metal bottle caps hoped across the board and turned upside-down when they finally reached the other end to become little queens.

When they noticed the checkers board under my arm most of them thought it was a strangely patterned Bible (because it folded down the middle to form a book shape). When I held it in my hands and offered it to a boy named Edson (only 13 years-old but surprisingly good at checkers) and the group finally realized what it was, grins broke out all around and the cardboard was swiftly swept away and little metal bottle caps were soon flying across our new (well… used, but new to our group) checkers board.

Today, three months later, I have played countless games (and lost nearly all of them… these guys are GOOD) and seen more smiles than I can remember from across this little piece of plastic. When the hinge broke that held the fold together in the middle, I showed up with my soldering iron and, to thunderous applause, soldered the little pin back inside to hold it together so we could continue playing.

Over a game of checkers I have heard about a lovely wife at home, and what is growing at home on the farm. I have heard men tell me about their fears for their future, and their desire to be healthy. I sat quietly as a boy told me about how afraid he was that he might never play soccer again because his leg may be amputated. I laughed and clapped a man on the back as we joked about how strange my own culture is. I wept quietly as a brother told me about his child he has never met because it was born 6 months ago… and he has been here 8. I have spoken of the love of a Savior, I have spoken of death, life, family, solitude, cancer, angels, demons, war, sacrifice, pain and peace.

What a strange job I have.

I love it.

As September Closes

A Layne Post

As September comes to a quick close, and Jon and I approach the ‘1 Month ’till furlough’ mark, we find ourselves amidst task lists, sweaty palms, and painted walls. We are working hard to get the rooms out back and the small kitchen area ready as we, Lord willing, will begin taking in friends/patients in February. I should say Jon is working hard, because he has done most of the work, and he has done so well; I cannot wait to show you the pictures. When the hard work is done, then I’ll come add my girlie touch for a comforting feel. I think I got the better end of the deal!

Mid-October Jon hopes to sit down with some leadership at the hospital and present our project for approval. We did this before, and it was welcomed wholeheartedly; however, leadership has changed, and we find ourselves praying for the same favor. Every now and again I have a freak-out moment thinking, “What if our project is shot down? Rejected immediately? What are we doing? What would we do?” Then I remember the crazy journey that has brought us here, and the faithfulness of the One who birthed this passion in us. I remember our current ministry, without the rooms, and stand in awe at His work. So who knows what will happen next? He does!

Pray with us!

We look forward to seeing many of you soon and connecting face-to-face. We’ll hug you hard and thank you properly.

Time to Rest and Remember

A Jon Post

Sorry this post is a couple days late. We drove north with some friends this last weekend to spend some time at the beach, relax, rest and remember. We have said some hard goodbyes over the last few months, and missed the chance to say many of them in person. There is a weariness that comes in body and soul when that happens often and it hung heavy over us in the memories of many friends we will no longer see on this earth.

This past weekend was a time for us to step away from that weight and remember the depth and width of the love of Christ in ways that are often easy to forget. I often forget that Christ expresses His love in;

  • Sand between my daughters toes
  • Waves of water crashing over me instead of waves of grief
  • Laying beside my wife late at night with our daughter sleeping peacefully to the sounds of the ocean
  • Standing on a surfboard
  • Feeling the warmth of the sun bake my skin
  • A smile and a sigh as my wife tells me “This is good

I Miss My Friend

A Layne Post

I remember the first day Anaya and I visited with her. Cleo was outside, upstairs on the veranda. (Her name is Cleo which sounds like “Clay-o” not “Clee-o”) It was a beautiful day, sunny but not hot. She was completely delightful. She made silly faces and noises at Anaya, which isn’t terribly common around here, and Anaya just ate it up.  We laughed out loud about childbirth, children, and life. She couldn’t believe I didn’t know how to cook fish, and she wrote a recipe down for me. I am so happy to have that; it is on my fridge.

Cleo was beautiful, really beautiful. She was tall and strong. She laughed that she had ‘bochechas’ (chubby cheeks) like Anaya, though it wasn’t true.

She had a 12 year old daughter that was born at 7 months and Cleo had been in the hospital, in labor, for 7 days. My hero. Her daughter needed extra assistance and lived in the hospital for about a month, though she caught up quick and gained weight well. Cleo’s love for her daughter was evident. How proud she was of her progress in school. Cleo loved math and science and found it hard to be away from her daughter, unable to help tutor her.

Anaya grew to love Cleo. I can still imagine those days of Anaya sitting in bed with her, playing with her little elephant toy, while Cleo made a slew of animal noises, all of which greatly impressed me. When Anaya would go to sleep in her sling, Cleo would sing to her. One day Cleo was discouraged; Anaya was quick to cheer her up. Cleo would say that Anaya was her first friend at the hospital. Any day I didn’t bring Anaya, she would tell me I had to bring her soon. Anaya would hang out with her, even when Mommy left. I am not sure there was another person she did so well with. Cleo will always be credited with teaching Anaya to ‘African’ dance. She would say, “Chuqueta, chuqueta,” as  she’d shake Anaya’s little bum, and everyone around couldn’t help but break out into smiles.

I looked forward to seeing her. I missed her when it had been a few days. I felt closer to her than any another previous patient.

I remember Anaya’s last day with her. It was another beautiful day. It was sunny and warmer, but a nice cool breeze was blowing. We sat on the red benches outside. Anaya grabbed Cleo’s face and talked very seriously with her. She hopped on her good leg, and Cleo insisted that Anaya always preferred her bad leg. Anaya showed off her new whining noise, which Cleo thought was too funny. She assured me it would pass quickly and Anaya would find new noises soon. We laughed out loud, as usual, and talked about her home town. Cleo taught me a few phrases in her home language, and we giggled at my attempts to remember. I was convinced she could teach me, and I could learn. I told her I’d bring a notebook the next time.

We talked about how I wanted her to move in with us. She told me she had been having a difficult time sleeping and needed morphine to calm the pains in her leg. Because of that, she would have a hard time living away from the hospital. She was convinced she would get better, and I assured her as soon as she improved some, I wanted her to move in. I didn’t care if our room out back was ready, she was welcome in my guest room.

She was starting treatment the next day, and if the tumor and swelling in her leg didn’t improve, they would start her on a new type of treatment and re-start her 6 month time frame. We were hoping for the best. It would be her second reset. That is a long time.

The next day was my day in Dermatology; however, I usually pass by Oncology just to say, “Hi,” while I don’t have Anaya. Cleo had been wanting to see a picture of Anaya as a newborn, so I brought a whole book; I thought it may be distracting while on treatment. While visiting with the last patient in Dermatology, my friend Alice showed up. She told me Cleo was bad. I knew Chemo would be hard, but it seemed worse than usual. I wrapped things up quickly with the girl I was talking with and rushed into Cleo’s room. Her Mom was there with her. I thank the Lord for that opportunity. It was hot; she was sweaty. I had 1 hour before I needed to leave, so there I knelt. I held her hand, fanned her with a piece of paper I found in my purse. We cried out to God together. She wiped her nose, and when she saw the blood “Meu Deus” escaped from her lips. I knew it wasn’t a good sign. I couldn’t hold the tears. She gave me a half grin and told me her leg would go down.

We never looked at Anaya’s pictures;  she was too uncomfortable, I never even offered. I would take it the next day and we’d see how it was going.

On the way home I wept. Ugly, gasping sobs, as I begged God, “Not now. Not this one. Heal this one. Let it be the first. Please.” That night in my bed with my air conditioner on, I could only think of her, and how I wanted her to be in that kind of comfort.

Early the next morning, while playing with Anaya, Jon came in. I should know by now. Maybe I did and didn’t want to believe. I said things like, “Why are you up?” “Go back to bed!” “I’m fine!” He came and put his arm around me and I knew. A text message had come with the news. Cleo died. Her mom and aunt were with her.

It was stunning. Fast. Devestating.

That was a hard day for me. Actually, it is still raw.

I’ve been to the hospital once since.

I miss my friend…

I Have a Name

A Jon Post

It’s been hard recently. The number of people coming in on legs or in wheel chairs and leaving under a blanket has been higher than usual. I have known some well, others I have met only once or twice, and there are even some few who I don’t have the privilege of knowing before I hear “Another one died last night”.

I have been pondering our ministry and our reasons for what we do over the last few days and our mission to speak and find the “Voices of the World”. I wrote down some thoughts tonight as I was thinking about those voices. There are very many.

Here in this dark place
Where death reigns and corrupted flesh fouls the air
Here in this dreary room
Where poison drips drips drips through plastic tubes and needles
Here in a lonely bed
A heart still beats slowly slowly slowly unrested since the day it was born

I have a name 

Faces and tears and hands are easy to imagine, easy to pity and easy to forget.
Broken bodies and stained bed sheets pull prayers like shoulders from their sockets
But names slip in and out of memory faster than the prayers stop 

I have a name

A person lies here. A person who grew up far from this bed. A person who learned to live and play and love and walk and dance and curse and work and sing and offer grace and hurt people and trust people and run away and stand and fight.
A person lies here still.
Though eyes loll back and lips mutter meaningless words and muscles spasm…
A person lies here still.

I have a name

Born so many years ago and named by laughing and smiling parents.
From infant, to toddler, to child, to teenager, to adult… this name has marked for good and ill.
Whispered by a lover in a secret meeting place
Derided in a mocking voice by the school bully
Yelled from across the busy street by a friend in the marketplace
Spoken sternly by a disciplining father
Whimpered in disbelief by a mother who has just found out the gravity of this sickness

I have a name

Now at the end of life and legacy that name means more than it ever has.
Though flesh falls away
Though family has stopped visiting
Though the pain replaces the family

I have a name

It is not forgotten.