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Saying Goodbye to Your Oldest Son

A Jon Post

I met Zeka and his son Christino back in September. They arrived in the hospital here in Maputo after spending 3 months in the hospital in a city called Beira. Zeka has a small stature and his son reflects that too. At 7 years old Christino was the size of most 4 year olds. A quick smile, an easy demeanor and his soft-spoken humility mark Zeka in a crowd.

When they arrived, Christino’s condition was grave. The tumor that had grown from his eye was very large and wept fluid profusely, dehydrating Christino’s little body quickly. It was clear from the beginning that the likelihood of his recovery was remote.

After two chemo treatments over 6 weeks the tumor reduced dramatically and Christino was able to get up out of bed and interact with the other children in the ward. Zeka and I celebrated together and praised God for His mercy.

Once, while playing checkers with friends outside, Zeka sat nearby watching and cheering my failing efforts to compete with my opponent. Layne came seeking me out with Anaya on her hip asking me to watch our daughter so Layne could serve a lady who needed more attention than Anaya was willing to share. Zeka reached out and offered to hold her while I finished the game. At first, Anaya wrinkled her little nose, pushed her little arms out and made it clear that she wanted to stay with MOMMY. Zeka, unconcerned, held her in his arms and swung her around so she couldn’t see Layne while he cooed and showed her the leaves of a nearby tree. Anaya was enraptured. Zeka’s comfort and ease with our daughter gave us such joy and the encouragement we needed that Anaya was not a burden to the patients.

We left Mozambique to return to the USA for 3 months, ensuring friends we would be back in January. Christino’s treatment schedule was to finish in February so Zeka assured us we would all see each other when we got back.

Our furlough came and went, we returned in January and Zeka’s name was on the top of my list to see soon. I had heard from our friend and partner Alice, who was here while we left, that Christino’s tumor had gone down even more since we had left.

I walked in to Zeka’s room and saw Christino.

“Wait…” my heart cried, “Why is his tumor as big as it was when they arrived?”

A new tumor, near the first, but not in the same place had sprouted up in the past few days and grown at a terrifying rate. Zeka related the doctor’s plan which was to remove part of the tumor with surgery and give him 6 more months of chemo but I could see the fear in his eyes as he told me. His son… his oldest son… lay there dying and he could do nothing.

Two days later I got a phone call from Alice. She was at the hospital with Zeka and they had bad news. The doctors had discharged Christino. There was nothing more to be done. He needed to go home.

To die.

I rushed to the hospital. When I walked into Zeka’s room the grief hung palpable in the air. We all knew what was happening. Christino labored to breath through a tumor-compressed airway and I stood there stupidly with no words and less confidence.

“I don’t have words Zeka” I said… dumbly.

“That’s ok Jon. There are no words.” Zeka replied.

I couldn’t tell which crushed me more. The courage in his words or the fear in them.

Over the next two weeks and a half I pleaded with the Lord to give me wisdom in how best to love Zeka and Christino as they waited for the hospital to arrange a plane ticket for them to get home.

Every day I saw them I sat silently by Christino and prayed earnest, searching prayers. Casting all my cares on Christ, and doing my best to help Zeka do the same.

Just before the news came through that they finally had received their plane ticket, I asked Zeka to tell me about Christino before they came to the hospital.

I’m not sure whom Zeka’s smile relieved more, him or me.

He spoke of Christino’s love for school, math particularly, his joy when working in the family farm, and his mother’s smile when she gave birth to their firstborn.

It was a short story, Christino was only 6 when he was admitted to the hospital, but it left me breathless with the mystery and beauty of my God’s creation. Even a 7-year-old life still weaves into this creation story and reflects the glory and splendor of God.

And though Christino will not see his 8th year, I’m glad God gave him the first 7.

And though Zeka says goodbye to his oldest son now, though tears usher him into his departure, his well-formed eyes, cheeks, nose, and smile await us on the other side of this dirty glass.

Goodbye Christino.

Go fly!

Missionary? Friend? Mommy?

A Layne Post

Since returning to Mozambique with my precious little 11 month old, who now walks,  I have been faced with a bit of a dilemma. Everyone still loves seeing her at the hospital, and they marvel with us at how quickly she has grown; they would be upset if she did not come with us… she is afterall, the “Bebê de Oncologia.”

On the other hand, this Mommy, who would like to sit and hold hands and pray with sick ladies, needs to be chasing her ever curious little one, who prefers to go up and down the step to the veranda or roam the hall with the fun pictures up on the wall. It has been difficult to have even a single meaningful conversation. Driving home on Friday I found myself in tears. I honestly feel as though we are between stages with Anaya, and soon she will understand when I tell her she has to sit in Mommy’s lap and read for a bit and then we’ll play outside. But, we’re not there yet.

Jon and I have agreed that on the two days Anaya comes with us, he can take over for a portion of our time, allowing me to connect purposefully. I have to remember, that Anaya’s face and presence in and of itself is a ministry and a blessing to patients. And, as I knew and committed to from the day Anaya was conceived, she is my priority and #1 ministry.

Pray for me, for us, to have wisdom in our decisions and in our ministry, as we desire the patients to feel most loved.

Home

A Jon Post

Another inter-continental voyage, many hours in airplanes, airports, and airtrains later… and we’re home. I apologize for three weeks of blog silence. While we were in the USA it was, honestly, a little tough to know what to share with you and how to use this blog to help people know and feel involved in what is going on in our ministry.

We did our best to sit down with as many of you as possible while we were in town. To those of you who took time out to see us we are so grateful and we are so blessed by your friendship and partnership. To those of you who we missed, we’re sorry and we don’t take for granted that you are there.

Since leaving back in November much has changed at the hospital. Though we expected it and tried to prepare our hearts for it, many dear friends died while we were gone. It’s hard to be able to tell someone “goodbye, I’ll see you soon”.

But, it is good to visit again and hug necks, kiss cheeks and shake hands of friends still there. I sat with three old friends and laughed, hugged, and talked together on Wednesday. It was so familiar and so missed to sit in that hospital room and smile with each other. Praying over a sick boy with his father was moving and honoring. When a young body is stricken with cancer and malaria at the same time there is much pain.

Our hearts are full and our lips smile often.

We are home.

My Favorite Girls

My Favorite Girls

A Grateful Heart

A Layne Post

Well here we are, ready to begin packing our bags once more. On Friday we head to Colorado to a have a big joint family vacation before heading back to Mozambique. How blessed are we that we get this precious opportunity?! We are grateful.

We have soaked in dear moments with family and friends filled with laughter, tears, and comfortable silence. We have wept in our bed alone for news painfully received from Mozambique. We have watched in awe as our daughter has grown. We have collapsed exhausted into comfy beds in cool houses. I’ve been treated with pedicures, girls’ brunches, and more shopping than was necessary. Jon has been treated with fly fishing, golfing, soccer, football, and paintballing. We’ve had too much good food to even recall it all, and me, a few pound to show for it. (Thanks 2nd trimester!) We’ve gone on lots of walks with our daughter. Taken her to parks, the aquarium, a pumpkin patch, play places, bouncy places, etc. We are grateful.

We have heard testimony of prayer warriors and intercessors, those we consider teammates, who have faithfully stood in the gap on our behalf and on behalf of those to whom we minister. Our ministry is not possible without the Holy Spirit and His presence. These teammates are crucial to our effectiveness.  We are grateful.

We have sat with many of our financial supporters and reported back about their ministry in Maputo, Mozambique. They, too, are dear teammates of ours. We have been humbled by their generous gifts. Our lives there would not be possible without them. We are grateful.

So we wrap up this furlough with grateful hearts, absolutely in awe of the Lord and His care for us.

Sleep Well Tonight

A Jon Post

I’m on a couch, thinking about this year, this Christmas, my home and my family. My daughter had been crying in her bed for 15 minutes, hoping that her voice would outlast the time I could resist my compassion getting the better of my parenting technique. It did and I spent the following 15 minutes snuggling with her in my bed, calming her breathing, rubbing her back and kissing her head.

Meh… it’s Christmas. She can have this one.

So I held her and put off writing this because I’d rather she know her daddy loves her than know that she needs to go to bed on time.

She cried, I whispered.

She whimpered, I kissed.

She squirmed, I hugged.

And so we found ourselves lying next to each other. She curled up into my arms and rested her head against my chest. I laid my hand on her back and breathed deep and slow, encouraging her to do the same.

She fell asleep.

My daughter lay there asleep in my arms and I couldn’t think of a better Christmas present.

To those who read this blog and have children, hug and kiss your kids to bed tonight. To those who don’t, remember your daddy loves you.

Sleep well tonight.

My Christmas Presents

My Christmas Presents