A Layne Post
Since returning to Mozambique with my precious little 11 month old, who now walks, I have been faced with a bit of a dilemma. Everyone still loves seeing her at the hospital, and they marvel with us at how quickly she has grown; they would be upset if she did not come with us… she is afterall, the “Bebê de Oncologia.”
On the other hand, this Mommy, who would like to sit and hold hands and pray with sick ladies, needs to be chasing her ever curious little one, who prefers to go up and down the step to the veranda or roam the hall with the fun pictures up on the wall. It has been difficult to have even a single meaningful conversation. Driving home on Friday I found myself in tears. I honestly feel as though we are between stages with Anaya, and soon she will understand when I tell her she has to sit in Mommy’s lap and read for a bit and then we’ll play outside. But, we’re not there yet.
Jon and I have agreed that on the two days Anaya comes with us, he can take over for a portion of our time, allowing me to connect purposefully. I have to remember, that Anaya’s face and presence in and of itself is a ministry and a blessing to patients. And, as I knew and committed to from the day Anaya was conceived, she is my priority and #1 ministry.
Pray for me, for us, to have wisdom in our decisions and in our ministry, as we desire the patients to feel most loved.
The joys of toddlers right?!? Don’t worry! Lay these frustrations, cares, worries at His feet. He will show you each visit what you should do. He will work it out. I know He too wants the patients to feel loved, and I am sure He is smiling on the fact that you would share His precious Anaya Girl. We will join you in praying during these hard transitions. We LOVE and MISS you!!
For your baby for now she needs her mom /dAd,will also pray love,aunt joan
:( I understand your heart is torn. But your heart in taking her there, even though difficult, is a blessing to many. Love you!
Layne,
I have had that exact thing on my heart and in my prayers for you this past week -I am Praying and know that God will give you the wisdom, direction, and peace that you so desire and are seeking – many hugs and much care. :-)
So glad to hear you are safely back ‘home’. I totally understand your frustration with a precious toddler. What a blessing you, Jon and Anaya are at the hospital. I like the idea of you and Jon switching off times so you each can have those precious moments at the hospital with ones who need you. We will join you in praying. These toddler days will pass so fast! Enjoy every minute of them! They learn SO much at this stage!
Wow, what a burden you must be feeling, Layne. I know that you do love your precious Anaya and without hesitation always choose to do what is best for her. But I can sympathize with your desire to be a very present friend to the dear ladies in Oncology — one who holds their hands and listens and prays as you have done for 2 years. I pray for your eyes to be enlightened to see what God is doing in and through you, even when the road no longer looks the way you wanted.
You are such a good mommy. I’m so proud of you, and I brag on you every chance I get.
Lots of love :-)
Oh Layne! I’m sure it’s getting tough w/ little girl on the move!! Sounds like you’ve worked it out and I know they love seeing Anaya :) Thank God Jon is there and ya’ll van share :) Love and kisses to all
hang in there! hope you have the energy for it. i also hope anayas able to see clearly and take on the strong love that yall are exhibiting. it’ll be cool, when she can sit and hear the prayers and see the tears in love, and start understanding.
i just had this thought, and if its totally untrue, then it doesnt matter. but in america we see our children as way more of an inconvenience in our lives/ schedules than other places. are you starting to think like this? did you take the busyness of here back over there?