A Layne Post

We are half way through our time in Portugal! Can you believe it? I hardly can. The next six weeks, I believe, will fly by. In some ways it is sad, but on the other hand, to be around family and loved ones is much welcomed… not to mention the Mexican food and Dunkin Donuts that have been appearing in my dreams at night. Sad thing is, that is not even a joke.

Jon and I are feeling quite good about our language acquisition, and we continue to have high hopes for the level will achieve before we leave. Thank you for your prayers. I would continue to ask you to pray for our retention now and when we leave. We have every intention of practicing daily during our month in the states, but some supernatural help would be fabulous.

The past week has been the hottest week since arriving. You may laugh at the temperatures being only being between 89-92°, but may I remind you that we do not have air-conditioning or a fan. Let’s just say that our nights have been a bit on the horrendous side. The cool air only decides to grace us with it’s presence at about three or four in the morning. According to forecasts though, the upcoming week will be cooling off, and I will praise the Lord, I assure you.

Today we took a trip with our school to a town approximately 1 hour via train from Porto. The town is called Aveiro, and we had a lovely time. We had coffee, rented bikes, and practiced our Portuguese with our tutors and fellow students. The bikes were a lovely surprise and much enjoyed. It had been so long since I had ridden a bike, that it took me a bit to get my bearings, while Jon enjoyed the comedic show.

Now, I think I will give you a little glimpse into my “oh so human” heart. I like to think that you and I have a relationship, and because of that, I want you to know me. So here I am…

This week has been emotionally straining for numerous reasons, but one major reason is a longing for a place to call “home”. Without a completed visa, Jon and I are in this homeless state, a place full of the temporary. (Actually, I have felt this way since our marriage.)  It has not all been bad, and in many ways wonderful, but now I am tired. As days pass without progress on a visa I have a hard time seeing the end. I know full well this world is not our permanent home, but girls, you gotta feel me right here… I want to settle. I want a family. I want a home. And for now all I see is temporary in my future.

Because of the excessive tears, I felt an explanation was due to my husband and family as well. I did not want people to confuse my physical state with my spiritual state. This is my description:

I have had times in my life when my very soul was shaken, when it was in complete unrest. That is not the case  now. My soul remains at peace, undisturbed. (Thankfully!) There have been times in my life when I have fretted about things to the point of becoming physically ill. That is not the case now. I am not worried about the provision of the Lord; in fact, He continues to amaze me on a regular basis. Just the other day I was in awe.

I think I am simply uncomfortable. Words do not seem to fit this feeling well, but uncomfortable may be the close. I trust the Lord. I can rest in His peace. I am positive He is near. I am not doubting, or really even questioning. I am just sitting. Uncomfortably.

We are learning and growing, being prepared for a work that is greater than us. Our hearts remain soft and our ears open. Thank you for your trust and support.

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