Skip to Content

Category: Things we’re dealing with

Brave Girl, Come Out

A Layne Post

When my sister arrived, she came bearing gifts for all. One of Anaya’s presents was a doll from the new Disney movie Brave. We haven’t seen it yet, but Anaya had noticed my niece’s on Skype and seemed to like it, so being Aunt Boog, she snatched one up and threw it in the suitcase. I saved the doll as a distraction item on safari, so Anaya would have something new to keep her busy. It worked for a few minutes as she inspected her, messed with her crown, and took her shoes off. She named her Brave girl.

Once we arrived home, Brave girl was given a home. She lives under the couch. Do not ask me why, for I have no idea. You can ask Anaya where Brave girl is and she will go get her, look at her a bit, and put her right back where she belongs – under the couch. It seems a little ironic to me, the girl called Brave girl hiding under the couch.

Brave Girl

But sometimes maybe we’re not so different. We, who are meant to be brave, yet living under the couch. There are times God calls us to do brave things. Sometimes God calls us right out of everything that seems comfortable, right out from our dusty dwelling under the couch, and right into our role He’s destined for us. And just when you think you’ve become brave having done so many previous heroic feats, you find yourself comfy, staring at the padding of the cushions above all over again, muscles gone weak.

We’ve been in Mozambique 3 years now, all the while volunteering in Oncology with an idea and hope for Casa Ahavá. We had no children. Then Anaya was born. Then Jovie was born. And now precious number 3 is on the way. We will have a 2 year old, and 13 month old, and a newborn. And I find myself thinking, “Now, Lord? Really? Now?” But His movements are unmistakeable.

So here I find myself once again looking at the Lord’s plan for me, and I am needing to dust off, crawl out, and command the brave girl to come out.

December 16, 2012
Casa Ahava, Things we're dealing with
6 comments

From My Back

 A Jon Post

So here I am laying on my back, hoping, waiting for the pain to go away. I went to the hospital last night. I had and still have trouble breathing deeply, my chest and back complaining loudly every time I try. Concerned about a possible pneumonia infection, the safest course seemed to get a doctor to say yes or no. Exams and an X-ray later, the doctor slapped the X-ray up on the wall and explained the good news and bad news. Good news, no infection in my lungs. Bad news, I have a pinched nerve/disk in my spine and every time I breathe deeply it pinches it more. The only thing the doctor could do was prescribe pain-killers… ibuprofen.

It’s been a tough week for the Heller family. On Monday we rushed Anaya to the hospital when SHE had trouble breathing and was throwing up and had a high fever. She had pneumonia in her lungs and was put on an emergency antibiotic and recovered remarkably fast. Layne wrote an excellent blog about that journey over on her African Gypsy blog. If you’d like to read more about what happened there she says it much better than I could.

I did have time to go to the hospital once this week. In the midst of all the hospital visits it was good to see friends there and hear them express how much they are concerned for Anaya and her health and tell me they are praying with us for her.

So here I am…

I think I’ll list the things that I noticed most this week as we pushed though a few difficulties:

1) Layne is an amazing mother and wife. Seriously. I wish all of you could see how selflessly she threw herself into caring for and loving Anaya and I as our health was compromised this week. She is almost 7 months pregnant and she hasn’t stopped to care for herself once in all of this. She has slept very little and has loved very much. I could not be more proud of her.

2) We have an amazing group of people who pray for us, both here in Maputo and around the world. We are overwhelmed by the responses we’ve been getting from people who have been praying for us this week, especially Anaya and her health. What a tremendous testimony to the Glory of God. Being a part of the communion of saints in this way is so powerful in drawing the lonely and forgotten to Him.

3) God is so so so good. I love that I can say that when I can barely breathe, when my chest and back are in pretty intense pain and when I can move very little without pain shooting through my torso. God is very very very good. I don’t deserve a healthy back, I don’t deserve such an amazing wife, neither I, Anaya or Layne deserve healthy lungs. And yet God continues to be so merciful in His gifts. If Anaya lives 1 year or 100, God’s mercy that He would give her to us, that He would minister in and through her, and that He would trust us with her life, is so great.

4) Pinched nerves really hurt. I know there are many who may read this who know better than I how frustrating it can be.

5) It’s really hard to watch your child sick. Getting IV ports, getting shots, getting oxygen masks pushed over faces, and not being able to explain any of it. That’s hard. Like above, I know there are so many who know this pain so much deeper than Layne and I.

6) Layne is an amazing wife and mother

7) God is really really really good.

April 7, 2012
Medical, Things we're dealing with
6 comments

Standing There

A Jon Post

It seems like I’ve been “doing something” for a while now. Layne and I have been pretty busy over the last couple months and I’ve felt like I’ve lost some of my time for something else. Something very African and very much a part of what Layne and I try to do in our ministry.

Just standing there.

It’s funny, but as an American, I have learned that it is not an acceptable part of my culture to be around people or next to someone and just stand there. We have to be doing something, we have to be talking about something, we must have a purpose. Being here I’ve learned that those things don’t necessarily translate to the culture I’m in now.

As I’ve rushed around doing something on a nearly continuous basis (or at least felt like I have) for the last couple months, I’ve missed some opportunities to stop…

And just stand there.

I don’t honestly know who coined the phrase “Don’t just stand there, do something!” but whoever it was I don’t think they have ever been next to a man dying on a bed who has not had a face to smile at him for 6 months. I don’t think they’ve ever sat beside a mother whose son has just lost his 2-year battle with a sickness that rotted flesh from bone and ripped breath from lungs. That phrase really makes no sense in such a context.

When faced with such powerlessness… I think one of the most encouraging suggestions is:

“Don’t just do something, stand there!”

Just stand there. Just hold a hand. Just weep with them. Don’t say anything, don’t try to fix what cannot be mended with words or service… just stand there.

A tragically troubled man, who served God and loved people named Henri Nouwen once said,

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not healing, not curing, and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”

I miss those times.

I don’t want to forget that Christ can be found, Christ can be known, Christ can be seen…

By just standing there.

 

June 26, 2011
Hospital Ministry, Mozambique, Personal, Things we're dealing with
8 comments

Encouraged

A Jon Post

As I was trying to decide what to write this week I started reading back over the last year and a half worth of blogs we’ve put up here. I read some of the hard times in our lives, times of death, of sickness, of pain, mixed with joyous moments in our lives, times of birth, of life, of smiles. In all of those times, in all of these “blogs”, in all of our crying out in triumph, defeat, life and death… you are there with us.

When we wrote of our tears, you cried with us. You encouraged us. You stirred us on to love and good deeds. You breathed words of life and comfort when we needed them.

When we wrote of our fun, you laughed with us. You told us of the great things the Lord has done for us.

In all of these times, of laughter, mourning, dancing, weeping, life, death, health, sickness, smiles, tears… you were… you are there with us.

Your encouragement means so much to us. Simple comments on simple blogs, mean something to us.

You are as much a part of this as we are. You are.

We love you guys.

 

May 2, 2011
Personal, Things we're dealing with
4 comments

Asking for Prayer

A Layne Post

There are lots of things I could post about this week…

We lost a little boy at the hospital that we’ve known for a year.

My friend, Joanna, is suffering through her last days.

I got a new car and started driving in Africa for the first time.

We had 2 Christmas dinners with dear friends, who generously opened their families to us.

We may get to some of those things here soon, but for now I am going to focus on asking for prayer. I sat funny the other night, Christmas Eve, and somehow my back slipped out of whack; I knew the moment it happened. I have had previous back problems, but it has been quite some time now since I’ve dealt with anything.

At 2am on Christmas morning, after vomiting multiple times from pain, I decided we needed to head to the ER, where I was only given Tylenol. It gave minimal help. Since then I have pulled out my TENS unit, which sends small  electrical currents through your back, giving the effect of a pain reliever without the chemicals. They are safe to use, even with Anaya, and honestly has been the only thing giving me the ability to cope.

Being 32 weeks pregnant makes everything more difficult. My OB is currently in Portugal celebrating Christmas with her family; however, she has made it clear I am welcome to call. I’ve wanted to give her the holiday weekend, and tomorrow I plan to call and talk with her, hopefully putting together a game plan of what our options are. Examples we’ve come up with:

Option 1: Try and find a Chiropractor trained in prenatal care in Nelspruit, South Africa, which is about 2-2.5hrs away, and drive there for treatment. If need be, stay a few days for multiple visits. (not sure if there is one available)

Option 2: Find a pain management medication that works and is totally safe for Anaya. (not sure if there is something strong enough I could take over a long period of time)

Option 3: Dealing with the pain and consider inducing at an early, but safe time for Anaya. (I feel like 4wks sounds manageable for me;  I could count down and make it through painful days. 8wks does not.)

For now I am resting and taking things slow, trying to let my back heal naturally. We are praying for supernatural intervention. We are praying for wisdom and peace. Please pray with us. One specific area to pray for is sleep. Constant pain is hard enough; constant pain without sleep is nearly unbearable.

Thanks for standing with us. We’ll keep you updated as we make decisions and take steps forward. We praise Him and desire that He receives the glory through this situation.

December 26, 2010
Medical, Mozambique, Things we're dealing with
12 comments
« Previous Page12