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Author: Jon

Learning How To Do My Job

A Jon Post

I have a confession to make; I’m not great at my job. I have been doing it for 3ish years now and I’m still learning quite a bit each time I go in.

My Job: Talk to sick people.

That’s it. That’s really all I do. I go in and talk to sick people about home, about the farm, about my family, about their families, about life… about death, about Christ, about hope. And after 3ish years I’m still learning how to do it.

Last week I was reading the Bible with 4 sick men. Awhile back I was given a bunch of Portuguese New Testaments by my friend and partner Jorge Pratas, and I had distributed them to these men recently. Xavier (pronounced Sha-vee-AIR) had been reading from Matthew 5 and so we opened to that passage together and read Jesus’ teaching commonly referred to as the “Beatitudes”.  After reading verse 4 we talked about what it means to be comforted and how that promise can come true. As we talked about that, one man in the room, Bernando, spoke honestly about the comfort he needs when he thinks about dying from his cancer. Realizing that I wanted to have more preparation for that question, I spoke briefly on the subject, told him I wanted to come back another day and talk about what the Bible says about his fear, and we continued in Matthew 5.

Two days later, as Layne and I worshiped God together I felt Him moving on my heart to remember what I had told Bernando and to search the Bible for places he could find comfort in his fear. Layne helped and we found many scriptures that talked about God’s promises in and after death. I’ve been doing this for 3ish years and this whole time I’ve known that I want be able to speak about God’s comfort to the dying. It’s not an easy thing to broach the subject of death when someone is still clinging to the hope of health and life. With Post-Its™ stuck in my Portuguese Bible, I headed to the hospital praying that God would guide me in the conversations that were coming.

I arrived, I greeted, I exchanged news on family at home, I sat on Bernando’s bed with him.
“Can I talk to you about the fear you mentioned two days ago Bernando?” I asked, tentatively.
And we dove in together. Psalm 116 talks about David’s intense desire and worship for his Lord as he is brought close to death… then he utters the phrase “The Lord cares deeply when His loved ones die.
We read John 14:1-4 and talked about knowing the way to the Father’s house.
And as I was reading John 14 with Bernando, Xavier and Lorenço, I realized that there is a Biblical character who knew of his impending death, knew of his coming suffering, knew of the pain that lay before him and pleaded with the Father to miraculously save him from those things. The answer to his prayer was an angel to strengthen him, and a deafeningly silent “No”.
Jesus Christ knows how it feels to look over the cliff into the suffering below and look at his death at the bottom and he knows what it means to for his heart to anguish over the silence of the Father.
And this Jesus Christ… this man of sorrows, acquainted with grief, this man is the mediator between us and the Father.

He knows… he knows.

And there is comfort in that.
So as my tears welled in my eyes and leaked down my cheeks, I told my friends we pray to a God who hates their suffering more than they. And at times He answers our prayers the way he answered David’s in Psalm 116.
Other times He answers like He answered Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane.
But he, himself, knows what it means in both cases.

So I’m still learning how to have these conversations.

I have a good teacher.

Following Up and Holding Our Breath

A Jon Post

Ok… it’s been 3 months since I blogged about representatives from the hospital visiting our house to see Casa Ahavá and inspect our readiness to give a home and a family to people from far away.

Here’s the blog if you need a reminder of what happened leading up to December 9th. Questions No One Asked.

The visit I mentioned in that blog went very well and we praised God that our visitors praised the location and the heart they saw for what we wanted to do. We thought we were within weeks of hosting friends here who are currently bound to a hospital bed because they have no where else.

We prayed, we thanked, we smiled.

Weeks stretched on, I kept following up with Social Services, nothing happened. The good men and women who came to see our house assured us they passed on a very favorable report to the hospital’s Director’s Office, but it was out of their hands after that.

We prayed, we waited, nothing.

As often as we’ve asked, we’ve heard only that we’re still waiting.

This week as Layne and I were driving to church together Layne brought this up with me. She has felt on her spirit the burden to pray for this process more directly and more fervently. We have spent little specific time praying for this and I’m so glad Layne’s heart was soft enough to hear the Lord correcting us in that.

So will you pray with us in this? We believe that “In the Lord’s hand the king’s heart is a stream of water that he channels toward all who please him” and if the king’s heart is that way, we believe the same of the hospital director’s heart.

Pray that the Lord channels his heart toward us and toward Casa Ahavá.

Pray that we please the Lord.

It matters.

It does.

Dancing on Rusty, Splintery Pallet Tables

A Jon Post

My computer is on my lap, a word document is open and I’m sitting here watching my almost-two-year-old daughter playing on a wooden table made of old splintery nail-split pallets. The slats are coming up, the rusty nails are failing in their job of holding mushy, rain ruined wood together and my daughter is dancing on top. Gasher, my huge dog, is pushing at her with his nose and I can’t tell if he’s concerned for her or wants to get up there and dance with her (and probably push her off to a painful landing on the concrete below).

As I write this I’m realizing that there are few things I’d rather do than make unsafe, FDA non-approved, child hazardous pallet tables and watch my daughters dance on them with my dog. I don’t want to watch them fall off those tables or step on one of those splinters or nails but those risks come with dancing on rusty, splintery pallet tables.

Watch The Fall

Watch The Fall

So when I take my daughters to the hospital with me, like I did yesterday, I have to remind myself, some times it’s ok to let my daughter dance on pallet tables.

See, yesterday we spent some time laughing and playing with Papa João. João is a wonderful grandfather who speaks of his family with immense pride and misses them fiercely while he sits here waiting to finish his 6 months of chemo treatment. From everything I can tell he is as healthy as I could hope for having the cancer he does and we hope together that in 2 more months, when he finishes his 6th and final treatment, he can go home to that family he loves.

But for now, I take my daughters and they laugh and play with Papa João. They are still getting to know him so they want me around when we’re there and yet they are getting more and more comfortable.

So where are the splinters?

Papa João will, one day, stop being there at the hospital. I hope and pray that it’s because he will be home with his family in Mozambique, but there is a chance it will be because he is home with his family in heaven. And, as hard as it is for me to understand death and it’s gruesome victory, I know my young daughters do not yet know why Dad gets scared when, after repeated treatments, the lump hasn’t gone down like it should. My young daughters don’t always see the rusty nail coming when a friend at the hospital is spending more and more time in bed rather than outside laughing.

Yesterday, when we were leaving, I was holding Anaya and we were walking to the car saying goodbye. Standing there with Papa João I said, “Tá tá Papa”, which in her perfect-two-year-old voice Anaya repeated, “Tá tá Papa”. João smiled and replied, “Tá tá Anaya”. Anaya took this as a good reason (with coaxing from me) to try to say “Tá tá Papa João”. Her perfect-two-year-old voice mangled it beautifully and it come out “Tá tá Papa Jollaw”. João loved it, smiled at me and told me how big she was getting and we walked away.

So what scares me about all this? I don’t think my girls understand that there will come a time when they won’t have the chance to say “Tá tá Papa” anymore.

So watch out for those splinters, rusting nails, and nasty falls my precious girls. And keep dancing. I’ll keep making tables for you, you keep dancing, and we’ll trust together that our Savior will kiss the splinters and cuts when they come and make them all better.

Dancing Together

Dancing Together

Papa Zakaria

I loved seeing him again.

I have a distinct memory of standing against a rail at the hospital with him. We spoke about our families and what we hope to do for them and how we hope to protect and care for them. His honesty surprised me when he spoke about how little he respected the people he knew who were church-goers. I had just finished talking about the “church where I pray” (the term used here to identify what church you attend) and asked him if he prayed at any church back home. There was a harsh resignation in his voice when he told me that he used to but couldn’t reconcile the fact that when he and his family went for a week without anything to eat, neither the church nor its members offered anything. He didn’t seem angry, only tired of lies. He left that church and hadn’t returned. When I looked into his eyes I searched for any hint of accusation toward me for my church-going lifestyle. I could find none. He just smiled and looked at me and we kept talking about life, and moved on to talk about his farm and his family, two subjects he was very fond of.

Papa Zakaria loved his family.

I think that was the strongest pull I had to keep singling him out and talking to him about life.

So when he left the hospital after finishing his treatment and I promised I wanted to visit him in his home, I meant it. I really did want to see him the family he missed so dearly.

Months went by, we spoke on the phone, we sent text messages, and I kept hoping to see him there.

I loved seeing him again.

I almost didn’t recognize him. His hair has come back full-afro after being completely bald for 6 months of chemo. His smile hasn’t changed though, nor his firm, warmhearted handshake.

We hugged, we laughed and we sat under his mango tree. I had come alone, leaving my wife and kids in the borrowed house we were staying in while I drove around the city seeking out him and some others who lived deeper in some of the trackless bairros of Beira. He was so anxious for me to come back with my whole family. His wife and children were all visiting the doctor when I arrived having been battling malaria-like symptoms for the past few days. He assured me they would be home that afternoon but he wanted me to give him some time for them to feel better so our families could visit together.

We marked a time 3 days later and with a deep smile we parted.

I loved seeing him again.

My daughter, Anaya, perched safely and trustingly in his arms, he lead my family over, through, and around some mud/water puddles to his little home where his wife and 5 children waited. We offered small gifts to his family, sat together and smiled.

Our Families Under His Tree

Our Families Under His Tree

What a joy.

Though his fear of chemo and cancer remain, his heart and legs are still strong. Though his faith in church wavered long ago, his faith in Christ remains to tether his soul to his King.

“I can’t die yet” he says with a smile, holding his son in his arms. “This one must have a father until he’s at least 18. Then I can die.”
When I look into his eyes as Papa Zakaria says that, I don’t see resentment, I don’t see fear, I don’t see hopelessness. I see only love. He loves his wife. He loves the son in his arms.
“They need a father. No… I can’t die yet.”

So under his mango tree we smile. We join hands in prayer, and we lift hearts and voices to our King and we hope. We hope his kids keep their father around for a while.

This is a good hope.

This is a good visit.

Making Spirits Bright

A Jon Post

It’s been a good year.

It’s been a good year.

We’ve seen grave suffering and intense beauty in its midst. We’ve seen tears of pain and tears of joy and we’ve shed them also. It’s a terrible and wondrous thing to serve a Holy God.

In all our time here we’ve seen so little of this gorgeous country.

Tomorrow that will change.

We’ve planned and hoped to visit patients who have come here and since gone home who live in the far reaches of Mozambique. We have hugged backs, kissed cheeks, smiled and waved goodbye not knowing if we would ever see many of our friends again.

Tomorrow that too will change.

As a last minute plan, we will be leaving at 3 in the morning to make a roughly 16 hour drive to a city in Mozambique called Beira. We know many former patients who live in the area and an opportunity to stay for free in a wonderful home came up suddenly and we felt God’s hand nudging us to go.

We’ll go.

So up we get in the morning, loaded to the gills with things to keep two kids under 2 years old happy for 16 hours sitting, with plenty of coffee, plenty of trail mix, and plenty of music to listen to and worship our King to.

It will be a long day.

Please, if you read this on Christmas Eve in the USA or on Christmas day here in Africa, please do stop here and spend some minutes praying for our journey.

Did you stop?

Thanks.

So here’s where we wish you all a Merry Christmas.

If there was snow to go dashing through we’d be doing that but we’ll just settle for trying to go make spirits bright.

Merry Christmas.

An Already Bright Spirit

An Already Bright Spirit