A Jon Post
As we’ve written before, what we do seems to have a strange and painful rhythm. We see times of joy, rest, and friends recovering from cancer. Then the waves crash back unto a shore washed clean of disease… pain returns… death finds a way.
And we write another story like this.
I didn’t know Moisés very well. I talked to him a few times after he arrived three weeks ago but didn’t have any time to sit with him personally and hear his story. He was laying in his bed when we first met, one face among three new ones. I knew his roommate well, and was surprised to see all 3 new patients there that day. I introduced myself and was pleased to meet new friends and file new names into my head and hope to remember them later.
Moisés sat, shook my hand, and smiled as I told him who I was and why I was there. We shared a few words and spoke of where we were from and then I entered a conversation with another friend in the room.
I saw Moisés other times as I’d pass through but we never spoke privately.
Until last monday.
I had actually been planning on spending time with a roommate of Moisés who was receiving chemotherapy that day. When I entered, there lay Rui on chemo and there sat Moisés coughing blood. The weight of the two men’s suffering bore down hard on me as I passed the threshold into that room.
Rui could barely talk and lay on his bed with a pounding headache. Moisés looked at me and started talking about his pain. Because he was coughing so much it grew hard to understand him. As he spoke and I strained to hear, I heard the end of a sentence… “I’ll do this until I pass.”
He kept coughing.
I prayed desperate prayers, pleaded for mercy from a merciful God, and tried to keep my voice steady.
A peace swept the room. My words slowed and trust fell on us all soft enough to not make any noise but hard enough to drive our fears out of our hearts. Moisés breathed deeply, Rui gripped my hand tightly, and I breathed an amen. Christ’s hand rested on us and we sat together wordlessly.
I stood up, encouraged both men to rest, and left.
Later that night Moisés sat in a chair next to his bed, put his arms on his bed, put his head down and stopped breathing.
So we write these stories and we wonder whose we will write next.
For now, we pray to the God who holds life and death in His hands, and we trust those hands.
Please pray with us. Pray that lives are not lost, that hope is not forgotten, that Christ is known and that hearts find strength.
Please pray that we hold fast.
“There is a man sleeping at night in his cabin, when suddenly his room was filled with light, and God appeared to him. And the Lord told the man he had work for him to do, and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin. And the Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might. So the man did, day after day. For many years he toiled from sun up to sun down, his shoulders set squarely against the cold massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing with all of his might. Each night the man returned to his cabin sore and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain.
Since the man was showing discouragement, the adversary decided to enter the picture by placing thoughts into his weary mind. “You’ve been pushing against that rock for a long time and it hasn’t moved.” Thus he gave the impression that the task was impossible and the man was a failure. These thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man. And then satan said, “Why kill yourself over this, just put in your time giving minimal effort, and that will be good enough.” So that’s what the weary man planned to do, but decided to make it a matter of prayer and takes his troubled thoughts to the Lord.
“Lord,” he said, “I have labored long and hard in your service, putting all my strength into what you have asked. Yet, after all this time, I have not even budged that rock by a half a millimeter. What is wrong? Why am I failing?“
And the Lord responded compassionately, “My friend, when I asked you to serve me and you accepted it, I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all your strength which you have done. Never once did I tell you that I expected you to move it. Your task was to push. And now you have come to me with your strength spent thinking that you have failed. But is that really so? Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled. Your back is strong and brown. Your hands are calloused from constant pressure. And your legs have become massive and hard. Through opposition you have grown much. Your abilities have surpassed that which you used to have.”
Keep pushing your rock! THIS DEVELOPS STRONG SPIRITUAL MUSCLE. 2 Peter 1:5-8, Amplified Bible reads, 5 For this very reason, adding your diligence [to the divine promises], employ every effort in exercising your faith to develop virtue (excellence, resolution, Christian energy), and in [exercising] virtue [develop] knowledge (intelligence),6 And in [exercising] knowledge [develop] self-control, and in [exercising] self-control [develop] steadfastness (patience, endurance), and in [exercising] steadfastness [develop] godliness (piety),7 And in [exercising] godliness [develop] brotherly affection, and in [exercising] brotherly affection [develop] Christian love.8 For as these qualities are yours and increasingly abound in you, they will keep [you] from being idle or unfruitful unto the [full personal] knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One).
Yes, Lori, … yes.
Jon, it is wonderful to read of the way the Lord’s Presence filled the room when you prayed for Moises and Rui. What more can we hope for than that we carry the very Presence of God with us into desperate situations? I pray that it will always be thus with you and Layne. And that it will be thus with me also.
Hi Jon and Layne – I am so sorry that you must feel this hurt over and over again. What makes the both of you such a gift to these people that God has placed around you – is that you DO FEEL. You must keep feeling! Thank you so much for all you do to help bring some peace, some comfort to these people that God dearly loves! You are “moved with compassion” – and that keeps you in HIS good company!! Love you guys.
I agree thank God for your and Layne’s empathy for the si k and dying there in that hospital for such a time as this. May God help me always keep y’all in prayer to obtain ALL the power and strength you need. That is our responsibility to ya’ll as prayer partners :) May God continue to equip you! Love you all.
keep going! we are praying that you do always walk gently, and the way you should toward each person you come across. keep trusting that God will lead. your heart is so tender and obedient. keep pleading, and keep sharing. your brokenness is an inspiration.