Category Archive for "Personal" | jon and layne heller

Heart Change

A Layne Post

I am sorry for our lack of writing. This morning I actually feel like I have time. One of my children gave an early wake up call by wetting the bed, so it is 5:55am and let’s just say, I’ve flat ironed my hair, done the dishes, had my coffee… I’ve been up awhile. And I sit here on my couch with only the hum of my air conditioner (Because it is hot y’all. At 5:55am.), and I am reflecting on the goodness of God in the midst of suffering, and His desire for me to love those around me out of brokenness and humility. I am thinking about the changing of heart He’s been working in me, the warming of a heart that had become a little cold.

Last week one of our patient’s 5 year old daughter died, about one month after her mother died. Then our dog of 5+ years died. Then some stomach pains that have been an issue for me decided to give me problems. Then one of our patients had to start taking an opioid for pain after being pain free for months, this was one day after Jon and I were talking together and praising the Lord for the miracle He’d been doing in him. Then we got news that our patient, who was home to bury her daughter, had come down with vomiting and diarrhea and was in the hospital herself and would miss her next round of Chemo. One of our challenging patients, who had gone home for a period, came back to perform some tests and will stay with us awhile. This week we had some surprising complications with paperwork.

Last week I cried a lot. I felt beat down. Tired. Empty.

But I was not crushed.

2 Corinthians 4: 7-12

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;persecuted, but not abandoned;struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

There is a beautiful mystery of this walk with God, that when you stop fighting death and pain, then life sneaks in. The life of Jesus.

My devotional book “Humility and Absolute Surrender” by Andrew Murray has been saying things like, “Where the spirit of love is shed abroad in the heart, where divine nature comes to a full birth, where Christ, the meek and lowly Lamb of God, is truly formed within, there is given the power of a perfect love that forget itself and finds its blessedness in blessing others, in bearing with them and honoring them, however feeble they may be. Where love enters, there God enters.”

And so in my emptiness, Jesus came in and love began to stir up, a desire to bless again. Bless with my heart and not just my actions.

Please pray for us, as our hearts and emotions are easily wearied. Pray for us to know the love of God ourselves, so we can most effectively minister it to others. We so appreciate your support.

February 14, 2016

Layne

Personal, Things we're dealing with

5 comments

Merry Christmas!

A Layne Post

Merry Christmas from Mozambique!

I had great plans of getting a card in the mail, but something about the addition of a fourth baby has made my life, well, a bit less organized. We did manage to take a couple photos, which made me feel accomplished. This year you can print them out and maybe next year I’ll print it for you! ;)

We also stumbled into tradition six years ago, even before we had children, of visiting our friends at the hospital who are unfortunate enough to have to spend Christmas day in Oncology. We take a simple mango and soft drink (Coke, Sprite and Fanta) and hand it out with a smile. It isn’t super spiritual. It isn’t super grand. It is just remembering those who are less fortunate than us and it is an effort to let them know they aren’t forgotten.

Since having children it has been a cool opportunity for my girls, and they are really able to get into it, as it requires only a simple “Feliz Natal!” and a handing over of a small gift. The patients adore their precious faces… and I do too!

As I reflect on 2015 and look towards 2016, I am filled with gratitude and excitement. Jon is still my partner in adventure and love of my life. He brings stability to my crazy. We added our fourth child, Selah, who is our last natural-born. What a delight she is! Our babies are growing into beautiful individualistic girls and I am head-over-heels for each one. We established Voices of the World Mozambique as a Non-Government-Organization here. We purchased property to build and expand our project from 4 patients to 12. Praise the Lord!

Thanks for joining us in this journey and holding us up in the special ways each of you do. We are so happy we aren’t alone in this.

May we each impart some peace on earth and goodwill toward men.

Merry Christmas to you and yours.

December 25, 2015

Layne

Personal

4 comments

What is goin’ on

A Layne Post

First, I would like to update you on Regina, as we have pleaded for your prayers. We have her CT scan in our possession, and we will take it to the doctor, Lord willing, on Monday to hear the results. So keep the prayers up and we’ll let you know. For now she is up north with some of her family, enjoying time away from the hospital and remembering why we fight so hard and endure so much.

Secondly, we would like to welcome two new patients to Casa Ahavá – Tia Berta and Tia Gilda! They arrived yesterday and are settling in, getting used to Gasher and learning the markets on our road. Berta is a lovely grandmother from Beira, the same province the rest of our patients have been from. She is kind with a brightness in her eyes and an absolute joy to add to our family. Gilda is 43, from Tete a province further north, and has a husband and 4 children she has left there. Her oldest is 23yrs old and her youngest is 4. It has obviously been difficult for her to be so far from the youngest boy. Gilda is smart, easy going and I foresee that she will slide into life here without hiccup. We are so happy they are here! I’ll snap some pictures of their beautiful faces soon, as I know it helps you to “know” them when you have a face with a name. Pray for grace as Benjamin returns on Tuesday and the 3 of them settle into community together.

Third, we went on vacation! When Casa Ahavá is vacant, it is a rare event, and we feel a little bit like empty nesters with the need to getaway and be free. (That could be read with a negative connotation, but please don’t take it that way; I think you can understand our sentiments.) We packed up the car, loaded the girls and went on a 4 night beach vacation to a lovely spot we’ve had our eye on for 2yrs now. The owner graciously gave us a wonderful deal and was incredibly flexible with us, as our dates changed multiple times. I knew I was ready for vacation as I anxiously counted down the days, but I had no idea how absolutely refreshing it would be. Sometimes vacation with a 3,2, and 1 year old can feel like more work than play, but not this time! We attempted to have multiple families come along with us, but in the end it was just our family, and looking back I am confident the Lord knew just what He was doing. The girls had a blast, and Jon and I had lots of time to sit together, talk, and reflect. This vacation was a precious gift.

Last news, but big news, we are buying a van! We knew with the addition of baby Selah we would need a bigger vehicle, as my car only barely fit the 3 car seats in the back, and it seems like this van has come to us by the will of God. Not only will it fit our family, but all of our patients as well! No longer will our patients have to climb up a step stool and then climb through the back of Jon’s Land Cruiser and over seats. They will now have easy entrance! Hooray! It is a diesel, which is much cheaper to drive here, and we are hopeful our monthly fuel cost will come out about the same! How awesome is that? We are so thankful to a generous donor who is helping us with the bulk cost of the vehicle. We are humbled! The van will hopefully be officially ours sometime next week, after the money has been wired and exchanged. It will difficult for me to say goodbye to my little car, as I grow strangely attached to things like cars, but I will adjust and learn to love my much bigger van… and learn to park it!

Thanks for your continued love and support. I am forever aware that Jon and I are not in this alone, that we have a team behind us, holding us up and pushing us forward. We are grateful.

November 22, 2014

Layne

Casa Ahava, Personal

6 comments

Turning 30

A Layne Post

For some people the age 30 is a hard pill to swallow. Saying goodbye to the teens and 20’s can feel like you are waving youth ‘goodbye’ and settling into ‘middle-age’. For some it was or is a goal line, a “make a million by the time you are 30” type of line. For others it is a “I’ll do better in my next thirty years” type of turning mark.

Some people may be beyond 30 and looking back thinking how young and naïve they were. Some maybe remember it as the glory days. Maybe for others it is a foggy blur of a fast moving life.

Some are smack in the middle of their 30’s thinking, “it is only downhill from here”. Or perhaps thinking, “30 really isn’t that old because I still feel young!”

Well, this week I turned 30.

For me I feel like it is a graduation of sorts. I feel like I am moving forward equipped with knowledge, wisdom, and growth that my previous life has taught me. I honestly feel like I am graduating with Summa Cum Laude honors – not that I aced every test, not that I didn’t make silly mistakes or skip class at all, but somehow my gracious Lord gave me a few extra credit projects and I came out of top. I am 30 and I am owning it.

I am so happy to be here.

I have a God, who has given me every good and perfect gift.

I have a wonderful husband, who outshines all in comparison, who loves me and cares for me with reckless abandon.

I have three healthy beautiful daughters and one precious little babe on the way.

I have family that unceasing loves and supports me, both on my side and on Jon’s.

I have a body of Christian believers, who care for me and my family as if they were my own flesh and blood.

I have a community of friends and missionaries right here in Mozambique who have stepped up and filled in for the physical absence of my family.

I have a 4 absolutely delightful Mozambicans who are living with us, who have added such joy, culture, and humility to my life.
And despite my African-dusty countertops, dinted car, stained couches, cracked dishes, taped floor tiles… guys, you can’t convince me otherwise, I’ve got the life.

I am rich.

$Watching \'Planet Earth\'$

October 5, 2014

Layne

Personal

4 comments

Hope Changes

A Jon Post

I sat on the couch this week with my wife. I sat and wept for the frustration of the shattered reality that there is no forthcoming solution to the place we find ourselves.

Last Month

Last month Layne posted that Pedro had an MRI and we were waiting for the next step to be determined based on the results of that MRI.
The results came.
Placed up against a florescent light to show the contrast between bone, tissue, cerebrum, artery, and tumor, this thin film of plastic brought with it ugly words.
Tumor, extensive re-growth, malignant, invasive, terminal.
An apologetic neurosurgeon sat in front of me and explained her inability to even close the surgical wound left behind by his first surgery.
“…only thing left to do is help him manage pain and dress the wound.”
And she left me with the honor/dread of telling Pedro his prognosis… of cutting the spidersilk thread we all had held on to that maybe surgery could help… of telling him that his seizures and loss of muscle control were only the beginning… of telling him that there is a God who loves. A God who loves. A God who loves.
Now… 1 week later, he sits in a wheelchair in my back yard.
Unable to move his right arm or leg.

Laughter

And I sat on my couch and wept. In this situation, because of his rapidly deteriorating health, we would have hoped to bring Pedro’s wife and children to him here at Casa Ahavá. But just three weeks ago Pedro’s son was born. His forth child, not even a month old, waits for his daddy to come home. A daddy who cannot hold him, cannot stand tall with him, cannot wrap him against his chest and tell him how proud he is. This 3 week old cannot make the journey to Pedro.
Pedro’s health means he cannot get on a bus or an airplane to get home. His family cannot get on one to come here.
Let’s get Pedro home.
Thursday morning at around 4 we will help Pedro into the car and I’ll drive him the (depending on road conditions) 12 hour trip to his home village. His home is in a bit of a remote area but we’ll make it.
So our hope has changed.
It’s changed from hoping for long months, even years, to hoping for enough days to get home. Just two more days. And it’s changed to hoping for more than just what this broken body can offer. Our hope has changed. Pedro’s hope has changed.
A God who loves. A God who loves. A God who loves.
Please pray for us as we drive to Muxúnguè on Thursday to get Pedro home.