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Category: Personal

Standing There

A Jon Post

It seems like I’ve been “doing something” for a while now. Layne and I have been pretty busy over the last couple months and I’ve felt like I’ve lost some of my time for something else. Something very African and very much a part of what Layne and I try to do in our ministry.

Just standing there.

It’s funny, but as an American, I have learned that it is not an acceptable part of my culture to be around people or next to someone and just stand there. We have to be doing something, we have to be talking about something, we must have a purpose. Being here I’ve learned that those things don’t necessarily translate to the culture I’m in now.

As I’ve rushed around doing something on a nearly continuous basis (or at least felt like I have) for the last couple months, I’ve missed some opportunities to stop…

And just stand there.

I don’t honestly know who coined the phrase “Don’t just stand there, do something!” but whoever it was I don’t think they have ever been next to a man dying on a bed who has not had a face to smile at him for 6 months. I don’t think they’ve ever sat beside a mother whose son has just lost his 2-year battle with a sickness that rotted flesh from bone and ripped breath from lungs. That phrase really makes no sense in such a context.

When faced with such powerlessness… I think one of the most encouraging suggestions is:

“Don’t just do something, stand there!”

Just stand there. Just hold a hand. Just weep with them. Don’t say anything, don’t try to fix what cannot be mended with words or service… just stand there.

A tragically troubled man, who served God and loved people named Henri Nouwen once said,

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not healing, not curing, and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”

I miss those times.

I don’t want to forget that Christ can be found, Christ can be known, Christ can be seen…

By just standing there.

 

June 26, 2011
Hospital Ministry, Mozambique, Personal, Things we're dealing with
8 comments

Jonathan Heller: Husband and Father

A Layne Post

Jonathan Heller has been the most caring, loving, romantic, passionate, strong, and wise husband. I know many people would say these things of their husbands, but I honestly think I have the best out there. I would follow Jon anywhere. Really, I would. And I have. With him by my side, I feel safe and secure. Much of that is because I am able to rely on Jon’s wisdom and guidance that comes from our heavenly Father. He makes it easy to submit to his spiritual leadership. I respect Jon in every way; he is an example of Christ to me. I knew when I married him that I loved him, but I had no idea what was to come.

With each year that has passed I have fallen deeper in love with him. When Anaya was born I knew things may change a bit, and they have… for the better! (Who knew there was so much better?!) The day she was born he took to her like a natural. He is so patient and gentle, nurturing and kind. My heart becomes so full when I listen to him read and sing to her, when he prays over her. Anaya looks to her Daddy with awestruck eyes. I can already see the special bond she has with him, and I love it! Fatherhood suits him well.

Anaya is blessed to call Jon her Daddy, as I am to call him my husband.

Father's Day 2011

Happy Father’s Day

&

Happy 3rd Anniversary,

Jonathan Heller!

June 19, 2011
Personal
5 comments

One and a Half Years

Yesterday I heard my husband talking with his mom; he was saying, “The last time we saw Joe and Evie (our brother and sister-in-love) was when they were getting into their car on the way to their honeymoon; we’ve never spent time with them married!”

How the time passes.

We have recently passed the one and a half year mark. I feel it shows most in the children, which is one of the hardest parts about being here… missing our time with our nieces and nephews. Here is a look at the changes since we’ve been gone.

Aunt Layne and Nini – November 2009
Lynise now!

 

Teagan and Aunt Layne - November 2009

Teagan now!

Gauge and Aunt Layne - November 2009

Gauge now! 4 years old!

Uncle Jon and Layne - October 2009

Layla now!

Aunt Layne and Uncle Jon with Micah and Layla - October 2009

Micah now!

And the new additions…

Matani ‘Mati’ Heller
Claire Violet Heller

And our very own…

Anaya Hosanna Heller

Sigh. It will be good to catch up at the end of this year.

May 9, 2011
Personal
7 comments

Encouraged

A Jon Post

As I was trying to decide what to write this week I started reading back over the last year and a half worth of blogs we’ve put up here. I read some of the hard times in our lives, times of death, of sickness, of pain, mixed with joyous moments in our lives, times of birth, of life, of smiles. In all of those times, in all of these “blogs”, in all of our crying out in triumph, defeat, life and death… you are there with us.

When we wrote of our tears, you cried with us. You encouraged us. You stirred us on to love and good deeds. You breathed words of life and comfort when we needed them.

When we wrote of our fun, you laughed with us. You told us of the great things the Lord has done for us.

In all of these times, of laughter, mourning, dancing, weeping, life, death, health, sickness, smiles, tears… you were… you are there with us.

Your encouragement means so much to us. Simple comments on simple blogs, mean something to us.

You are as much a part of this as we are. You are.

We love you guys.

 

May 2, 2011
Personal, Things we're dealing with
4 comments

Learning the Heart of Our Father… plus update

A Layne Post

Anaya is 12 days old today. Her presence in our lives is already both a blessing and a challenge. Just when my tiredness starts to take over, when it is 3 am and she is wanting her awake time, when I feel twinges of pain reminding me of my labor; Anaya wakes up and gives a little half smile, or giggles in her sleep, and my mercies are renewed. I am filled with more love and ready to lavish it on her. I explained to Anaya during one of our diaper changes how I am beginning to understand the heart of God our father even more because of her.

When I have to let her cry a little, because I know in the long run I am shaping her to be a self-assured and independent…

When I sit outside her bedroom door and ‘collect all her tears‘…

When I desire to pour all the knowledge I have into her…

Those are some of the exact things the Father does/desires for me. This little girl, Anaya, who burst into our lives on the 22nd of February is teaching me so much in such a short amount of time. I told Jon the other day, “You just can’t be selfish with a baby.” It is my love for her that motivates me to keep going, to keep giving. I am so thankful that the Lord loves me in such a way, that even when I am off schedule, off the ‘right path’, His love motivates Him to keep caring for me; to keep cleaning me up. And just when He is getting tired, the morning comes, and His mercies are renewed.

Anaya Hosanna. She causes me to look to God and give a shout of praise, just as the meaning of her name promised. It is my prayer that her life and presence may do the same for many others along the way.

Our peaceful, content girl

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Jon has returned to his visits to the hospital. Our family there joined in our celebration of our new daughter, as her proud Daddy showed photos from her first week with us.

A precious boy we love very much named Alexandre has been sent home. Jon was able to spend a couple days with him before his departure. He is not better. Our prayer is that he will get home, and the Lord will miraculously intervene and extend his life.  We plan to keep in touch via cell phones.

Alexandre = Best smile EVER

You may also remember Lucia and her father Longo, who went home at the end of January. I wanted to update you that she is still alive, and according to her father, doing well. She still has the tumor in her belly, but seems to be thriving at home away from the hospital and medication. We praise the Lord for this, since we were skeptical even of her survival on the journey home; it is truly a miracle. Her father is happy to be working again and providing for his family. When we speak with him, he is always full of giggles.

As for me, my ministry at the hospital has been put on hold for Anaya’s first few weeks. Soon I will begin pumping my milk, allowing Jon to take an afternoon feeding, and I will make 1-2 visits a week, while Jon remains at home with Anaya. At 5-6 weeks we will take Anaya up to the hospital in a carrier/sling and introduce her to our family there. Unfortunately, due to the sheer amount of people, and the fact that it is a hospital, we will not allow her to be held for another undefined amount of time.  You can pray with and for us to have wisdom in this area as the Lord continues to direct us.

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We love you guys and thank you for your expressed joy and celebration in the birth and arrival of Anaya. We look forward to introducing her in person to many of you in the USA at the end of the year.

 

March 6, 2011
Hospital Ministry, Personal
4 comments
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