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Category: Around the house

Karasi (Full of Life and Wisdom) Nitara (Having Deep Roots) Heller (Brighter)

A Jon Post

For one breathless moment we wait for a cry and a gasp.

Mother and Karasi Nitara

Mother and Karasi Nitara

For one breathless moment we trust that divine lungs are blowing into a helpless and tiny body.

For one breathless moment we wait.

And Karasi Nitara Heller sings… she sings her birthsong, melting into the unintelligible songs of angels, all covered in her mother’s blood and amniotic fluid… she sings.

Then quiet, a whimpering mother clinging to her daughter…

Then quiet, an IV drip hanging from the mother’s vein, an intrusive pest into this intimate greeting…

Then more songs, more joy, a mother’s laborsong mingled with her daughter’s birthsong.

More life, and all the wisdom of the mother poured into her daughter. All the deep roots planted over 9 months of bodily sacrifice bursting forth to the surface of pain mixed with trust all washed in sponges of alcohol based disinfectant and a joyous love.

Singing Together

Singing Together

And mother sits with Karasi Nitara and both sing softly in cries and hymns. Then the angels join in harmony with Karasi Nitara’s laughter and her mother’s weeping.

Then they fall silent to witness this holy moment of life bringing life, of blood poured out for the life of another, of tears wept in anticipation of the now.

Karasi Nitara come forth in Life and Wisdom. Plant your deep roots and shine brighter and brighter until noon day.

(with a 70s tennis player on the right there)

Family of Five

The Month of June

A Layne Post

From celebrating Jovie’s 1st year of life to solemn talks of death approaching, June has been a full month.

My sweet Jovie was well celebrated with dear friends, and she seemed to enjoy all the festivities.

Cake!

Cake!

 

Presents!

Presents!

Big girl!

Big girl!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She has mastered her walking skills, which has brought much relief to this Mama, as she seems more content chasing her sister and not being left behind as often – just in time for a new baby to arrive! She has brought much joy to our home, especially as her personality emerges with each passing day.

Anaya is anxious to meet her new little sister, giving sweet kisses and encouraging her to “Come out!”

Karasi will be arriving early this week. Please pray with us for safe delivery, quick recovery, and smooth adjustments to our new immediate family of 5. Last week I hurt my back, and while I have been trying to rest it, it is still noticeable.

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Casa Ahavá is now full  with 2 men and 2 women – our other family members! Our dear Eliza seems to be getting worse, which is hard for all of us to watch and especially for her to endure. You can pray with us as we seek the best options for her. Her body continues to worsen despite more medication and treatment, and she desires more and more to be near family – the most ideal scenario in our minds. I am happy to hear her speak of life and death with more peace than I have heard before.

Tomás struggles to get his white blood cell count where it needs to be and as a result has gone two months without treatment. Pray with him and us as we seek to remedy this, so he can continue with his treatment plan and return to his wife and four children.

Zakarias seems to handle his treatments with ease. While still challenging, his body has such strength, and we praise the Lord for this! He spoke with the doctor about his treatment plan this week and will soon receive a scan to decide if he can return home soon, or if he needs to continue here a few more months. His cancer does not look to be treatable, just manageable, so his fighting will continue whether here or at home.

Filomena is near the beginning of her treatment, and it looks to be a long road ahead. This is her second time here with her breast cancer having returned. Pray for her small wounds to dry up and heal and for her emotions as it is difficult for her to be far from her two children at home.

We are always so grateful to you, our supporters. I hope you know that. Thanks for praying alongside of us.

A Week at Casa Ahavá

A Layne Post

This week I thought I’d give you guys a little glimpse into a week with Casa Ahavá. It is a little difficult to give you an exact picture because each week and each patient varies, but in general here an overview of what is involved:

Each patient is on a 21 day schedule of receiving their Chemotherapy. The day before Chemotherapy, the patient needs blood work done to make sure all is well enough with their body to be hit with such strong doses of medication. That means they need to arrive before or at 7am – leaving our house between 6 and 6:15am to get a simple blood draw. Granted nurses are there and easy to comply with, this is a quick process and the patient can return to the house with Jon as soon as finished. If the results prove the patient is healthy enough to receive the cycle of Chemotherapy, they will return the next morning before or at 7am – leaving our house between 6 and 6:15am. They are then admitted for at least 1 night and depending on how their body responds, they return the next day or a couple days later. (At times the nausea and vomiting that Chemotherapy induces requires a day or two of IV re-hydration.) In general, Jon does these runs so that I am able to sleep in a bit and then get the girls up and going when they are ready.

From time to time a patient will simply need their blood work done for the doctor to see and get a general idea of the patient’s health, so we will then take them, again, first thing in the morning, and then return home with them as soon as they done.

So all of that to say, Jon is usually doing about 2 morning runs to the hospital a week – up at 5:30am, out the door at 6:00am, and then home usually between 9 and 10am. If things have gone slowly for one reason or another, then Jon will visit with the other patients at the hospital during that time and not return in the afternoon. If things move smooth and quick, he comes back, and then he or I return at 1pm in the afternoon to visit. During a normal week, Jon will visit 4 afternoons and I will visit one, spending anywhere from 1.5-3hrs at the hospital chatting with and trying to encourage patients. Post-Chemotherapy a Casa Ahavá patient or patients will just come home with us after Jon or my afternoon visit.

1 morning a week around 9am we offer a little Bible Study over muffins and tea and then do a general house-keeping meeting to make sure all is going smoothly in this little community.

1-2 nights a week we invite the patients to eat dinner with our family. If the patients have had a rough week, due to pain or recovering from Chemotherapy, this number may increase, though they’ve been wonderful about taking care of one another. They make their own food for the most part and do their own grocery shopping at small local markets on our street. Our little Heller family tends to receive 1-2 meals a week at the courtesy of our sweet Eliza.

In the morning you will usually see the patients moving around, making breakfast and tea, doing some laundry by hand even though we’ve offered the machine, sweeping their kitchen, sweeping our yard even though Jon has showed them the rake 100x, picking up dog poop, or trimming some trees. Sometimes this is the time they’ll go for a little walk or do a their grocery shop.

Lunch time they tend to eat in their kitchen, and sometimes on especially nice days you may find them eating on the table outside.

Everyone naps or at least lays down for 1-2hrs in the afternoon.

Typically, the girls and I (or Jon if it is his afternoon home) spend our post-nap afternoon outside on the lawn with whoever is out there. For the most part, Mozambicans think the house is for sleeping and spend a majority of their time outside. Eliza likes to crotchet the day away, either sitting in her black plastic chair outside the kitchen, giving her pot of food an occasional stir, or laying in the grass shooing our large dog. The men like to sit outside and listen to their radio or watch TV inside their room.

After 7pm, and sometimes earlier, we usually don’t see anyone again until the morning.

Weekends are low key. Sometimes we’ll have a visit from a sister or brother-in-law. A game of croquet may be enjoyed in the lawn. The patients enjoy attending church with us on Sundays.

 

So maybe that gives you a little glimpse? I hope so. Overall the patients have overwhelmed us with blessings and community and have required very little outpouring on our part. Thanks for your continual prayers. We still currently have 3 patients – Papa Zakarias, Tia Eliza, and Tio Tomás. We are in discussions and prayer over our 4th right now – please join us! We would like to add one more woman to our community before little Karasi joins us – our 5th Heller!

Casa Ahavá Continues

A Layne Post

We continue to enjoy and learn about living with our sweet friends Zakarias and Eliza. What gracious loving friends we have been blessed to start Casa Ahavá with! My girls are so comfortable with their presence; it makes me smile. Jovie happily let Eliza carry her around the yard yesterday without even a glance towards me. These are such special moments and memories to store up.

Sitting with her Adopted Grandma

Sitting with her Adopted Grandma

Zakarias, who is not used to sitting and resting, has taken an active role in the upkeep and improvement of our yard. I think by the time he finishes treatment we will have a functioning garden. We are thankful for his work and happy he has an outlet to forget his sickness, though we are often reminding him to relax a little. Eliza always offers our family whatever food she has made, and we keep reminding her that while we are grateful and her food is yummy, she only needs to cook for herself and Zakarias if she wishes. I love to look out my kitchen window and see her sitting, shawl wrapped, crocheting beautifully with Gasher at her feet in utter bliss.

We have offered on a couple occasions for them to come along when we are heading to the hospital for a visit, thinking they may be bored or missing friends there; however, our offer has been hurriedly turned down. They do not want to go back until they must for treatment. We’re so glad the rest here is preferable to returning to the hospital.

As we start this week, if they are interested, we are going to try and implement a few scheduled times of Bible study, prayer, sharing, etc. Pray for us as we look for continued ways to love on our friends and point them to Christ – the only One who truly gives comfort, peace, and strength. It isn’t that our friends don’t know Christ; we just want them to be ever reminded that it is Him providing for them right now, not some strange nice Americans.

Pray for us as well as there is much need at the hospital and currently limited space and resources available at Casa Ahavá  right now. As patients become aware of Casa Ahavá, there is more interest and petitioning. Of course, we have desire to relieve loneliness and discomfort of each person in need, especially for those asking. We need discernment as we select patients to come home with us and join our family, and we need wisdom about adding beds and potentially increasing the number of patients at Casa Ahavá.

We are so grateful for your support and love. I am sure much of the ease in transition is because Christ is answering your prayers. Thank you.

Transformation

A Layne Post

I remember being a new Mama.

Somewhere after the hype and excitement of this new little person, after all the cooing and gasping over each new movement, after the adrenaline rush ended and tiredness set in… yeah, somewhere after that, I was left floundering and suddenly not sure of who I was. I thought being a missionary meant giving your life in service, but then this little person invaded every second of my life, and not only that, she was completely and utterly dependent on me. My life of service was just beginning.

As a missionary to the sick and the dying, it was easy to see how I was serving Jesus by holding puke buckets, wiping sweaty heads, and holding weary hands. It felt good to be used by God in such a way. I was obeying the obvious command in Matthew 25:35-40.

As a Mama it was far more difficult to see how scrubbing poopy cloth diapers, soothing a crying baby, or making baby food was service to Jesus.

In my mind I knew the Lord was pleased by my service to my family, but how to feel satisfied in that service wasn’t as easy. I found a place of contentment in serving at the hospital one day a week, all on my own. It was good and right, and I felt like I could breathe again. Not in the escape of my child, but in having something that was mine, that was me. If I’m honest, however, I never found the secret to that satisfied feeling that could be found in poopy diapers, dishes, laundry, etc. There were days it still loomed – discontentment and purposelessness.

And then I had Jovie.

And then I got pregnant.

And here is the deal. I still have the privilege of serving once a week on my own, and usually I get to go another time in the week with my girls, putting me at the hospital twice a week. Those are cherished sweet times I never want to give up, but somewhere over the past couple of years I’ve transformed, thanks be to God, into a Mama. It is who I am. Recently as I felt myself holding a woman’s dying head close to my chest, as I stroked her hairline and kissed her forehead, I realized I do that because I am a Mama. It is so very natural because I am a Mama. I haven’t lost who I was; I’ve become a better me, a more selfless me, a me that looks more like Christ. Sometimes the process of learning selflessness feels like you are losing everything that makes you you, and that is scary. We need to trust our Creator, who fashioned us in our mothers’ wombs. Perhaps you are becoming more you than you knew possible.

And over the last couple of weeks the Lord has been doing some more transforming. He has come full circle and begun to whisper that secret I was searching for a few years back. His tool has been Ann Voskamp’s devotional One Thousand Gifts Devotional: Reflections on Everyday Graces. What I’ve learned is that I’ve been ungrateful. Not purposefully, but neglectfully. In my new-found habit of keeping a “thankfulness journal” I have discovered contentment in caring for my children and husband. Joy that has been found in giving thanks to the Giver – for tan lines, mango salsa, laying in the grass watching clouds, crawling, singing with my children, a home to clean, a rare late morning in bed, etc. As I read on Ann’s blog today:

And “Give thanks IF you are happy” is in reality:

If you want to be happy — give thanks.”

Giving thanks is what gets you joy.

I have found it true in my life, since I’ve begun purposeful thanksgiving. So reader, give thanks to Him and discover the joy and contentment He has to give.