A Layne Post

Last night while eating dinner at the other missionaries’ home, our little mud hut was broken into. Jon must have spooked them because one bag was dropped outside close to the house. When he saw it he was alarmed, ran into the house and noticed his computer and computer bag were missing.

The next couple of hours were filled with Jon driving, chasing guys, and talking with the police and neighborhood chiefs. While chasing a suspected thief, Jon sprained his ankle pretty bad. Unfortunately, we have not yet recovered the computer, but we hold onto hope.

The police are keeping their eyes out at the markets, and we have put the word out in a couple neighborhoods that we will give a reward if someone brings it to us.

Even still we are reminded of the many things to be thankful for and continue to praise the Lord. We are blessed to have the privilege to own the things we do; they are blessings that can be given and taken away.

Here are some positive things about the situation:

• There were many things that could have been taken in the house that were not
• Many things that are normally in that bag that were not
• We still have my computer to use
• All of Jon’s data was backed up and no information lost

Here are a few specific ways you can pray:

• That the computer would be recovered and returned
• If not, that the thieves will be unable to break the passwords and access information
• If not, that we have favor with the credit card company we bought it through and possibly be able to be reimbursed
• Pray for Jon’s ankle to be healed quickly; it is swollen and bruised

Ironically the following is what I had written to post for this week before the events of last night. The Lord is faithful to me in so many ways.

This week the Lord has been dealing with fear in my life.

Some people may laugh, thinking a young girl who has chosen to live her life in Africa cannot possibly struggle with fear. You would be wrong though. I have even tricked myself into thinking that from time to time, but this week has shone a bright light on some big ugly fears.

I am doing Beth Moore’s study ‘Esther’, and while I had even seen this week’s video before, the Lord had new things in store for me, new things to work out.

Can I be honest? Sometimes when the Lord starts to work on a specific area, I begin to wonder if He is preparing me for something to come, maybe even soon. (That is not exactly comforting, since the topic is fear; nonetheless, I’ve pushed on and told the Lord He can continue His work.)

Beth Moore points out that solely begging and trusting God not to let horrible things happen to you is conditional trust. We must get to the point that we are able to say, “Even if the worst I can imagine happens to me, God is faithful and I trust Him.”

I knew this. I did. Sometimes I even got a hold of it. But it hadn’t rooted itself. From time to time fear would creep its ugly head into my life.

Early this week I began to hand things over to God, starting with the little things.

Recently I had been having some trouble with fear during the nights, as I could hear loud parties and drunk people very close to the house. There were nights I would lay awake hearing every noise, letting my mind take me to crazy scenarios. Going potty outside was terrifying. My heart would race, and I would literally run back inside feeling relieved no one had grabbed me along the way.

After my study, when I would go to the toilet, I would force my mind to calm down. I would say to myself, as Esther came to say, “If I perish, I perish.” (Go ahead, you can giggle at the thought of me on the toilet saying that to myself; makes me laugh too.) Maybe it was a little extreme, but it helped. I was choosing to trust God, not to keep someone from being out there, but even if someone was out there.

A couple nights later, the Lord decided to move on to another area. My husband. I want you to know that I have the best, most faithful husband ever, who loves me, cares for me, and reassures me constantly. But due to experiences in my life, to experiences in other women’s lives, I have let fear keep a little hold on my heart, completely separate from anything Jon has ever done. And it isn’t fair to him, which is why I am thankful that the Lord is ripping it out of me at this point in my life.

So there I lay, letting my mind be taken over. I knew immediately that it was Satan and that everything in my head was lies. I wondered if I should talk with Jon. Thinking it was unfair to even be thinking these things, I decided to try and battle it out myself. It got worse. I even began shaking. I made up my mind to ask Jon to pray for me, but in my pride I wanted to calm down a bit more. I began saying the name of Jesus over and over and sure enough, my soul settled.

I gathered my courage and humbly asked Jon to pray for me, confessing all this ugliness inside of me. He lovingly took me in his arms and began to pray over me.

Fear was conquered that night, though this time I needed help. Unlike the time with the toilet, I could not do this alone. I needed my husband, a fellow believer, to stand by me. Sometimes we can’t do it alone. Sometime we need each other. And it’s worth it. It is worth the humility, worth the courage. God desires that we live in freedom.

I desire to live in freedom.