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Joy Crashing Into Grief

A Jon Post

Layne and I are in Maun, Botswana visiting good, good friends whom we used to minister with as missionaries from 2005 to 2007. Layne’s medical condition is still undiagnosed and when we spoke to the doctor in Windhoek, Namibia he said we are waiting for test results and biopsies results of some spots in her stomach found during her recent gastroscopy. Because Maun is about a day’s drive away we decided to spend the weekend here with friends. Maun is situated just south of the Okavango Delta, the largest inland delta in the world. It is a haven of African wildlife and has been a favorite camping spot of ours for years. We decided to spend two nights camping on our way to visit our friends here.

I was going to post the rest of this about our safari trip and about Mother’s Day. But we went to our old church here in Maun today and saw friends we’ve not seen in a long time. Today was going so well, we had an incredible camping experience, and God seemed to be smiling on everything I looked at.

Then I spoke with a friend that I’ve known here in Botswana for many years. I’ve kept in touch with him since I left, and he loves the Lord so much. He is an incredible doctor, husband, father. His wife just had a newborn baby girl.

And she isn’t well.

I wish you could see and share in the tears I have while writing this dear friends. My friend’s name is Enok and I could see the pain in his eyes as he spoke of seeing his little girl through the eyes of a doctor and knowing the gravity of her illness. I could hear the agony in his voice as he spoke of his wife’s wavering voice telling him to stop giving a doctor’s diagnosis and simply hope the hope of a father.

Sometimes my theology is of no comfort to me.

I know that God promises that He works for the good. I know that.

It doesn’t lessen the pain.

This little girl is suffering and her lungs are in danger of collapse. Please pray with us for her. Please join with us as we pray for little Tefile (pronounced Tehfeelay). Pray for Enok and his incredible wife Patience. They are an amazing family.

Sometimes, when life seems so good, when joy is found in every little thing, the gravity of this fallen world hits like a hammer.

I can wrap my arms and heart around my Savior, because I know he sits with me… with us and He cries too. He knows what it means to see the innocent suffer. He knows. And he cries with us.

Please pray for Enok, Patience, and especially Tefile.

We love you all.

You can read about our safari trip here.

May 10, 2010
Travel
4 comments

6 Months in Africa

A Layne Post

On Friday this week, it will have been 6 months since we left the United States. And what a whirlwind it has been! We have stayed in 5 different countries for weeks to months at a time. (Two week minimum) We have loved deeply and lost tragically; and all of it has opened our hearts to know Jesus more and more.

He is beautiful and terribly mysterious.

Tonight we were chatting with new friends, explaining how we plan to live in Africa for the rest of lives, or at least as far as we can see in the future. It really feels like home; we are so comfortable here. Every now and then I try to imagine us back in States, living life… and I can’t. We belong here; God placed this place, this continent, in the core of our beings. We are captured. I believe the Lord knew this before we were knitted in our mother’s wombs.

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While in Angola we visited the hospital one day. We were supposed to visit a sick young girl, the daughter of the missionaries’ friends; however, when we arrived she had been taken into an emergency operation and was not doing well. The doctor kept telling us it was bad, very bad. Minutes after being there, the father was taken aside and told his thirteen year old daughter had died of appendicitis.

Wobbling he came of the room in a state of shock. After a few helpless sobs, he knew he had to find his wife, her mother. She had just gone to the river to wash some clothes, a simple task, one she does everyday. But today was not ‘everyday’. I knew she would never be able to forget this day. He went to find her with the little strength and sanity that he had.

I wanted to hide; I shouldn’t have been there. This was private, and I was a stranger, an intruder. I tried to blend into the wall.

The body, so small and petite, so young, was wrapped in sheet and taken on a stretcher into the chapel. I heard the wailing coming in the distance. My previous detachment suddenly began to crumble, as I was drawn in. I slipped behind a pillar.

Her mother, physically supported by the shoulders of her husband, came wailing, thrashing, and singing out the name of her dead daughter. It was haunting. Other women joined in the wailing, almost in dancing movements around the body. It was raw grief, eerily beautiful and confident.

As I stood outside, behind my pillar, sobs welled up for the loss this family was experiencing. This life here; loss is common, closer it seems.

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Sitting on the front steps of the hospital in Menongue I thought of my friends at the hospital in Maputo, and I longed to be with them, to be the arms of Christ once again to the sick and dying, to people I knew and who knew me.

The Lord knows what will satisfy us more than we could ever muster up. Six months ago when we left the United States, we would have never imagined our new found passion, but our mysterious Lord in His beautiful ways knew.

I cannot wait to see what else He has in mind.

Thanks for your continued love and support. We think about and pray you, individually; we love you so much. We have no new health news for now, though I haven’t been sick this week. Praise God!

Short hair for me; 6 months of beard for Jon

May 2, 2010
Angola, Travel
5 comments

New page: Some of Our Stories

A Jon Post

Well, there isn’t much to say this week. We are still in Namibia, still seeing doctors and getting tests done to find out what is causing Layne’s stomach pain. We’ll know more on Thursday after a scheduled test to look inside Layne’s stomach. Please pray with us that all goes well and that a quick and easy course of treatment is available to get us past this thing.

Because we don’t have a huge post this week, we rolled out a new section of JonandLayne.com. The “Some of Our Stories” tab up on the top left is a place where we will be occasionally adding a specific story that doesn’t appear on the blog. It’s just a place where you can read some of the specific things that happen to us or that we do that may or may not really have much of a spiritual focus. We just want you to get a bit more of a glimpse into our lives here and some of the, at times crazy, at other times scary, at other times exciting, and all other manner of descriptive words.

So I’ve added the first two stories. They both took place while we were in Angola and we will keep throwing them up there occasionally.

Thanks for your prayers. We need them.

April 25, 2010
JonandLayne.com
3 comments

We’re in Namibia now

A Layne Post

It is crazy how life can change so drastically in a matter of days.

I told Jon, “Only a couple of days ago we were sitting in our little mud house, sipping our off brand sodas, and eating our meat from a can… Now we are being hosted by the most gracious family, staying in a beautiful home, eating steak and chicken and drinking iced tea!” Sometimes I have to laugh thinking about this life Jon and I live.

Jon, Jorge and Lazaro

Jon, Jorge and Lazaro

Leaving Angola was difficult. Because my last bout with sickness was worse, we were rushed to get to a doctor, and we felt unable to properly say ‘goodbyes’. There were many we were just unable visit. Those we did say ‘goodbye’ to were very understanding and sympathetic. I will not forget standing with two Angolan pastors, holding hands as they prayed over me for healing and prayed peace over my family in the States. They cared for me. Genuinely.

The precious family hosting us in Namibia has overwhelmed me/us with their love. They have opened their home, schedules, meals, lives, and hearts to us with no reservations. They have gone to lengths to make sure I am cared for medically, which has put my mind at ease. They have been Christ to us, in action. How He cares for us so well!

Where I am at medically: We have seen the doctor, who seems a bit as baffled as we are. After checking me out, he said, “You look healthy to me!” Which I am until it hits. My symptoms sounded possibly like gallstones, so we went for an ultrasound. No gallstones, everything they could see with the ultrasound looked normal.

Layne Washing our Clothes

Me Washing our Clothes

I have an appointment tomorrow (Monday) to decide on more tests. We will test for h-pylori, a stomach bacterium I had last year; the symptoms do not match perfectly, but it’s worth checking. We may also have an x-ray done where I swallow barium to check for hernias and whatever else they could see in there. We may run blood tests to check my pancreas. Really, because we are limited on time, I want to run every test that could be a slight possibility.

Pray for wisdom and direction for the doctors.

Where I am at emotionally: I was sick again yesterday. I am tired. I am frustrated that we have not found anything out. I know it takes time, but I was still hanging on to the hope it wouldn’t. I struggle not to worry about going to sleep or dread any small pain in my tummy. Jon prays with me, as we hand it to the Lord. Jon is such a support to me in all of this.

Where I am at spiritually: I trust the Lord and His mighty hand. I trust that He is more than capable to heal me in an instant. As encouraged by my mother-in-love, for this time, it could be an opportunity to gain a bit of understanding for pain, as I plan to serve the sick and dying. I am not the only one to suffer. I am not the only one in pain. There are so many others who endure much more. I hope to know the Lord in a more intimate way at the end of all of this.

I want to thank you all for your encouraging words and prayers. I feel completely surrounded by love and supported by friends, even from so far away! What a precious gift that I do not want to take it for granted. I am humbled and grateful. Thank you.

April 18, 2010
Personal, Travel
4 comments

Sickness and Leaving

Layne with two young girls she's been discipling

Layne with two young girls she's been discipling

Hello blogites,

Well… We’ve got some news. There are quite a few things happening in our near future and now’s the time to share it with you.

The first thing you should all know is that Layne is sick. About three weeks ago she woke up in the middle of the night with intense stomach pain and spent the rest of the night and morning in agonizing pain. We thought it might be a passing thing, prayed, hoped it wouldn’t happen again and waited. One and a half weeks later it happened again. We got a little worried, prayed, thought it might be a food she ate, and waited.
Six days later, two nights ago, it happened again, and it was worse. All night we stayed up, all night I prayed over my suffering wife, all night she waited for the knifelike pain to subside. It was anguish.
We have decided to seek medical help. Because the medical world in Angola is still recovering from the war, we are not confident that she can be helped here in Angola.
Tuesday morning we are driving to Namibia. Namibia has excellent healthcare and we are sure she can be diagnosed properly and treated. Please pray with us that it is smooth and quick.

The second thing you all should know is that we will not be returning to Angola in the near future. Despite the fact that we have felt for so long that God was moving on our hearts to come to Angola long-term, that has changed. Maybe God meant this short time was what He wanted. Maybe He means later in the future.
As we have been praying and seeking the Lord’s wisdom and direction for our future, we have taken the opportunity to look back at the things we felt the Lord initially put on our hearts since the beginning of our journey back to Africa, as well as the things He has pressed on our hearts since. After reviewing those things, and then feeling the peaceful and good moving hand of the Lord in our prayers, we have come to a decision.
For now we don’t know what/if our future is in Angola.
What we do know is that God has moved in us to go back to Mozambique.
Our time in Mozambique made a huge impact in our lives. We made fast friends with fellow missionaries that we respect and love, and we ministered alongside them in various ways and we are sure that God has said to go there and plant roots. We may uproot someday but for now, we have a peace from the Lord that He is putting us there to minister and love people well.

Friends, family… I know we ask often, and I know it gets repetitious… pray for us.

My Beautiful Wife

My Beautiful Wife

Pray for my wife… my beautiful… lovely… incredibly giving… passionate wife. Pray she is healed. She is sick and I can barely stand it. I love her so… Join me in prayer over her health.
Join us in this new vision. We will share more soon about what our heart is in Mozambique and how we are transitioning into ministry there.
Pray with us dear friends.
Have faith with us dear family.
These mountains don’t stand a chance. (Matthew 17:21)

Jon and Layne

April 11, 2010
Angola, Mozambique, Travel
12 comments
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