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When a Visitor Turns Into a Friend

A Layne Post

Marta. Something about her has captured me.

Sweet Marta is twenty-two years old. The first time I met her she looked absolutely terrified to be there in the Dermatology ward. After chatting a bit, I realized she just needed to be distracted. By the end of our conversation I had even gotten a few smiles and laughs.

Her family lives quite far from Maputo, only an Aunt is in town, but she didn’t have her phone number. She did, however, know where she worked. Now, I don’t know the city well, and probably would never be able to find “somewhere someone works”, but the Lord had something else in mind. When Marta told me the school her Aunt worked at, I realized it was literally 2 streets away from my house! I jotted down her name, and while I couldn’t promise she’d visit, I could promise an effort in finding her. My mother-in-love, Vicki, was here at the time, and we went and found her the next day. We informed her of Marta’s situation and that was that.

Now, weeks and weeks later, she has only visited once. I quit asking, as it always came with a face of disappointment. Maybe it wasn’t so much about the Aunt coming, maybe it was more about Marta knowing I cared enough to track this lady down for her, even though we’d only met once. I may not be able to promise visits from her Aunt,  but I can promise my own.

Still my visits usually found Marta with watery eyes, full of fear and loneliness. I would encourage her as best I could and give as many kisses to her forehead as seemed appropriate during my visit. Even a short term team I hosted commented on her discouragement.

One week Marta was looking particularly bad; I was actually worried for her life. I noticed her long nails, and the Lord reminded me of the clippers I saw on the side table of my other friend across the hall. I borrowed them quickly and clipped her nails for her. It was a simple act, but she seemed appreciative. I asked her if she liked painting her nails, and the answer was, of course, “Yes!” That was something I could do easily and cheaply! I promised a day of painting nails sometime soon.

That day on the way out she asked for a sweater; she was topless under a blanket, and it is winter here. My partner Alice has some donated clothes and sweetly volunteered to take one by to her. A week later when I visited, she seemed to have taken a turn for the better. She proudly donned her new sweater and assured me she stays warm. Her face was clean, and her skin moist, a big improvement from the week before.

Another day I brought chocolate chip cookies for a friend’s family, who had given me some veggies from their garden, and I thought it was a perfect opportunity to bless Marta as well. I threw 5 cookies into a little container and dropped them by her room. On my way out, she was already eating them, and with a big grin assured me how much she liked them.

The day came for painting nails. I picked out a very bright cheerful pink. While Marta was my goal, I ended up painting 5 other pairs of hands as well. How special to see the way the women lit up from such a simple treat. Here among the holes in the floor and the rats, we had a salon day. I smile, even now, just thinking about it. But Marta… Marta had the sweetest face as she admired her pink nails with butterfly decals (Thanks Lynne Hartke!).

Now when I get to Marta’s room I am greeted by a big smile.

Sometimes it is the simple things, things I feel only come with relationship…

When a visitor turns into a friend.

 

Daily Phone Calls

A Jon Post

Like a Son

Like a Son

 

“Uncle Jon” came the small voice over the phone, “Tomorrow I’m leaving to go home!”

Immediately joy, excitement, fear for his safety, and heart-dropping-sadness all warred for my emotions. Little Tomé, after two years of living alone in the hospital, was going home.

He finished his final chemo treatment early last month, waited a week for a CT scan, another week for an ultrasound, another week for a blood test, and was finally given his discharge last week. He left for home at 2 AM Friday morning.

Earlier this week when he told me he was so close to going home, I went out and bought him a pre-pay cell phone and loaded it with credit.

“Keep this phone with you and if you need anything or just want to talk, you call me and Uncle Jon will be there for you.” I told him.

We’ve spoken about 3 or 4 times every day since he left.

Sitting on the bus, eating dinner, arriving at a town about halfway home, waiting for the next bus… he calls and we talk. He has never owned a phone before so he is comically unaware of phone etiquette but his smile is obvious when he speaks and his laugh infectious. “How is Aunt Layne? How is Anaya? What did you eat for dinner? How is everyone at the hospital? Is your dog there? Where are you? Do you like buses?” and on and on it goes and we laugh together while I hold in the tears long enough to get off the phone and miss this little boy who became like a son to me.

And even though this work brings so much pain, it brings more joy. So we’ll keep doing it.

Please pray that Tomé stays healthy, that his cancer stays in remission and that we see him again.

Thanks.

Moving!

A Layne Post

We have had intentions of writing a proper newsletter, but due to procrastination and “busyness” we have not. Hang on to your hats, though, it is coming!

I am going let you in on some news though, because it is coming up too quick; we’re moving! This month! There are a couple of different reasons which have led us to this decision. For one, the rent prices in the city are climbing each year, so we have decided to move to a suburb called Matola where the prices are cheaper. Secondly, because of the project we want to do for the hospital patients, we need to be in a location where we have the freedom to renovate and operate how we desire. The house we have decided to rent is actually owned by the pastor of our church, who is in full support of our Casa Ahavá project.

When we approached our landlord about our contract ending in a year’s time, we knew the rent would increase; it is the way of things around here. What we did not see coming was an added $500 a month. We staggered. While we had chatted previously in the past about moving, each time I would end on verge on tears. “I’ve worked so hard!” “I want to call somewhere home!”

This time, however, as the landlord exited the front gate and we took a seat on the couch, we had peace; it was time to at least look for other options. Within a couple weeks this home in Matola fell in our laps. After a quick walk through, I was sold. It is perfect for where we are at right now. We have signed a three year contract with a locked price, cheaper than our current rent, which gives us the comfort and flexibility to begin working towards Casa Ahavá.

The two flats in the back of the house in Matola are in better condition than the ones we were looking to renovate here in the city, meaning it will take less time and money to become operational. There are still other barriers we will face, but when the Lord is for us, who can stand against us?

So we strap on our work boots and get ready to move in and make the next place ‘home’ (In my book: paint on the walls, colorful curtains, and a few personalized canvases.)

We appreciate your prayers for us during our transition and for wisdom and open doors and we continue to pursue Casa Ahavá.

Standing There

A Jon Post

It seems like I’ve been “doing something” for a while now. Layne and I have been pretty busy over the last couple months and I’ve felt like I’ve lost some of my time for something else. Something very African and very much a part of what Layne and I try to do in our ministry.

Just standing there.

It’s funny, but as an American, I have learned that it is not an acceptable part of my culture to be around people or next to someone and just stand there. We have to be doing something, we have to be talking about something, we must have a purpose. Being here I’ve learned that those things don’t necessarily translate to the culture I’m in now.

As I’ve rushed around doing something on a nearly continuous basis (or at least felt like I have) for the last couple months, I’ve missed some opportunities to stop…

And just stand there.

I don’t honestly know who coined the phrase “Don’t just stand there, do something!” but whoever it was I don’t think they have ever been next to a man dying on a bed who has not had a face to smile at him for 6 months. I don’t think they’ve ever sat beside a mother whose son has just lost his 2-year battle with a sickness that rotted flesh from bone and ripped breath from lungs. That phrase really makes no sense in such a context.

When faced with such powerlessness… I think one of the most encouraging suggestions is:

“Don’t just do something, stand there!”

Just stand there. Just hold a hand. Just weep with them. Don’t say anything, don’t try to fix what cannot be mended with words or service… just stand there.

A tragically troubled man, who served God and loved people named Henri Nouwen once said,

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not healing, not curing, and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”

I miss those times.

I don’t want to forget that Christ can be found, Christ can be known, Christ can be seen…

By just standing there.

 

Jonathan Heller: Husband and Father

A Layne Post

Jonathan Heller has been the most caring, loving, romantic, passionate, strong, and wise husband. I know many people would say these things of their husbands, but I honestly think I have the best out there. I would follow Jon anywhere. Really, I would. And I have. With him by my side, I feel safe and secure. Much of that is because I am able to rely on Jon’s wisdom and guidance that comes from our heavenly Father. He makes it easy to submit to his spiritual leadership. I respect Jon in every way; he is an example of Christ to me. I knew when I married him that I loved him, but I had no idea what was to come.

With each year that has passed I have fallen deeper in love with him. When Anaya was born I knew things may change a bit, and they have… for the better! (Who knew there was so much better?!) The day she was born he took to her like a natural. He is so patient and gentle, nurturing and kind. My heart becomes so full when I listen to him read and sing to her, when he prays over her. Anaya looks to her Daddy with awestruck eyes. I can already see the special bond she has with him, and I love it! Fatherhood suits him well.

Anaya is blessed to call Jon her Daddy, as I am to call him my husband.

Father's Day 2011

Happy Father’s Day

&

Happy 3rd Anniversary,

Jonathan Heller!