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Author: Layne

Update on Casa Ahavá

We came home from furlough into a whirlwind of challenges, pain, and grief. It wrapped us up and nearly blinded us to its effects. Only stumbling out the other side and reflecting, we realized that since coming home in February, we have lost five friends. Thankfully, each of these made it home to their families before their deaths, something we count as grace. We have also delivered the terminal diagnosis to another three and sent them to their homes to spend their last days with family. As we wait, we still carry them in our hearts. No wonder it has felt heavy.

We had a season with every bed full and not just full, full of patients with intense suffering. It is true that every patient with cancer suffers, however, sometimes the stages of our patients’ sickness are different, and those stages and the number of patients determine the atmosphere around here. It was a hard season. The morphine and wounds kept us tethered to the affliction of those we were trying to love, demanding our attention, our compassion. Really, we’d have it no other way. It is why we chose this… or better said, were chosen for this. When we stop breaking with those around us, it would be time to quit. It is Christ alone that carries us, enables us, humbly uses us. Your prayers have meant so much.

Even still, I feel like we are just beginning to catch our breath and beginning to feel the atmosphere changing. We have let the number of patients dwindle a bit, as we currently have 8 patients and a couple of those soon to be going to their homes. In reality, the hospital does not have patients to send to us right now and that feels like God’s blessing on our season of slowing… recovering.

Our girls are growing and thriving. It is such a wonder to behold such intense joyful moments of life alongside such pain. What a gift these four daughters of mine are, not just to me, but to the Casa Ahavá community.

We cherish your support and love for us and for our patients. Here are some current pictures

Maeza

Augusto

Moises

Lurde

Luisa

Madelena

Olinda

Heller girls

August 18, 2019
Personal
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Back in the Swing of Things

How is it possible that we’ve been home over six weeks? I am sorry for the silence. Here is an update!

When we arrived home, it was only a few days later that Loice and her Mama came to our house. Many of you heard me talk about Loice and urge you to pray for her. The Holy Spirit was so tender and sweet and spoke to Loice and her mom while they were at our home. It was only about a week later, with peace in their hearts, they made the journey home so that Loice could have some time with her three girls. Please continue to pray for my dear friend, as the days are not easy. May God’s mercy keep pain at bay and may many memories be made.

Such a gift to get a picture of these two together.

This Mama right here is gold. She cares so well for her girl.

Once Loice and her Mama were gone, our house began to fill up with new and former patients. Meet our newest family:

Luisa, mother of 10 and grandmother to many!

Rosa, back with us from last year. Joyful and God fearing.

Maria, mom to one 5 year old girl. Young and full of ambition.

Lurdes, Mom of two teens. Full of spunk and always ready to chat!

Torres, back from last year. A grandpa figure here at our home. Well loved.

Maeza, full of energy. Dad of 3. Ready to work. Loves the Lord and prayer.

I am missing a photo of our last patient Manejo, but he hasn’t been feeling well. I told him we’d wait. We also have a new man coming Monday, which will put us at 8 patients. And towards the end of the month we also will welcome back two men during their short stay for what we call “control”… a check-up! That will be our first time with 6 men! It is so nice to have a lively community out back.

Big thank you to Dr. John Singer, who so generously organized and donated some wigs for our patients! What joy and fun it brought them in the midst of sickness and sorrow.

As for our family we are doing well. The girls spent hours outside the first day we got home. They are enjoying climbing trees, building things with their tools, dressing up the cat, and other things kids do. They have slipped back into schooling without much trouble. They are extra busy these days as we have added Portuguese class three times a week at a nearby school! Time to buckle down and learn the language. They are enjoying it, but it does have this Mama running around more than she is used to. They also have ballet and swimming, which makes for going to “school” everyday!

We are so very thankful for your love and support.

Prayer points:

Loice and her mom taking care of her. Her 3 daughters.

Rosa and Manejo’s pain.

Maria to gain some strength after her last cycle.

Our community to bond. And for people to not feel lonely.

My girls acquisition of Portuguese.

March 14, 2019
Personal
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Leaving

A Layne Post

Last night I gave a glance out my kitchen window before it was time to lock up for the night. Gates closed. Silence. My heart sank a little, and I went about the nightly routine. As of yesterday afternoon, we officially have no patients. My home feels strange with just my immediate family here… empty. Even Pedro will stay home this week and rest with his family before moving into our home for the next while. We leave for America in one week.

We were able to arrange for all of our patients to go to their homes while we are gone, except one. My dear Loice had to be admitted to the hospital again. The plan was for her and I to go to church and then I’d drop her off the hospital. Beds are hard to secure there, especially on week days, so the head nurse advised that Sunday was the best day to guarantee she had a space. All morning I could tell she was dragging her feet. Honestly, I was too. Just the night before she had asked me, “Are you sure they won’t have a bed later in the week?” My heart broke a little as I explained that we just have to do what the nurses have told us. I assured her I hated this. I told her this is the hardest part of this trip. I reminded her of all the people here I have begged to visit and care for her while we are gone. Then I told her goodnight.

She put her two small bags in the car. I kept sizing them up. Not nearly enough for three months of living, but the hospital doesn’t allow you much. She had to leave the rest with us. My heart broke a little more. I tried to keep the conversation light on the way to church, chatting about our family and what we are going to do in the States. We chatted some about her kids. Finally, we pulled into church, late from dragging our feet, and both hoping the pastor would speak a little extra. He did.

The distance from church to the hospital is short. Too short. I used those minutes to tell her the things the Lord had ministered to my heart during church. I assured her that if I am so worried about her, that I know God is even more concerned. I reminded her how God’s ways are often opposite of what we expect. Because of the that, I am praying and believing that while we expect her to suffer more in the hospital, that God will do the exact opposite, that she will experience His presence and blessing more there than at our house. (Will you pray that too?) She agreed in word and confessed that with God nothing is impossible. I reminded my soul that it is truth.

We turned into the entrance and she gave a little laugh and said, “We already here!” My heart sunk, but I laughed instead. I turned off the car, and grabbed one of her bags and headed up the dreaded stairs, pretending to happily greet people as I went. Cama 18. As we walked the corridor, smelled the bathrooms, saw the rooms full of sickness and metal, I could feel the tears rising. I willed them to stop and made it to her room. What a dreary place. All gray and metal with white sheets. It is a hospital, Layne, what do you expect? My ministry now is from my home and it has been a long time since I’ve been in those hospital rooms. Jon is the one that goes to the hospital. I’d forgotten.

I didn’t want to say “Tchiau”. I hugged her. An American hug, not cheek kissing as is normal here. I squeezed her. I told her I wasn’t going to cry. I told her I’d come visit this week.

I got in the car, shut the door, and I sobbed. My heart broke the rest of the way. I have spent years working to take people out of that hospital and I just dropped someone off to stay. What a horrible feeling.

Dear God, do what only you can do. Do the of opposite what we expect. Be GOD. Draw near to my dear sister. Bless her. Overwhelm her. Take care of her.

 

Also, our sweet Mariana, home with her family while we are stateside, is struggling with pain management. We are attempting to give advice and adjustments from here, but would you pray that she would be able to experience some comfort and rest and be able to enjoy her family while home? This is weighing heavy on our hearts.

 

Prayer points for our upcoming trip:

  • That our children will fully recover from their recent illness, including their current congestion and coughs
  • That the actual travel will be uneventful and that we would be filled with the Holy Spirit and the fruit that results
  • That the Lord would be merciful as our family adjusts to jet lag
  • That our immune systems would stay strong and that the Lord would protect us from American illnesses that our bodies are not protected against
  • That the Lord would supernaturally care for my children’s emotions and souls as this is such a big long transition and that Jon and I will have wisdom in tending to their needs

 

We love you all and are so anxious to hug so many of your necks so very soon!

November 12, 2018
Casa Ahava, Travel
12 comments

Days for Forgetting

A Layne Post

Some days the weight of reality, of new lumps, of biopsies, of extra treatments, of extra symptoms… it just all feels so dark, so hopeless.

But some days… some days are for forgetting.

For laughing.

For running.

For finding our inner child.

For joy.

For light.

So thankful for this gift of a day. The Lord is gracious.

 

 

 

September 15, 2018
Casa Ahava
3 comments

We Are Still Here!

A Layne Post

How is it the middle of August? Time is moving quick these days. We have not dropped of the planet, I promise. Honestly, after Irene passed away in January and Angelo in March, I think we just went into recovery mode. While we remained with lots of patients, varying from 5-10, the work load felt easy in comparison to what we had been living for the previous nine months. I think we instinctively withdrew a little from emotional connection with our other patients in order for the Lord to be able to heal up wounds. By June we felt restored.

Jon began school in March and somehow he has managed to squeeze 3 years of study into six months. (For real? He’s amazing! And God’s grace abounds!) He will be graduating with his Bachelor’s degree in Healthcare Management by the end of August! I will begin my Master’s degree in Palliative Care on the 27th and I’m feeling quite excited. Recently we have had a few situations with our patients that have highlighted the need for more medical knowledge. How great is the Lord that He has provided a way! There also have been talks of further partnering with the Central Hospital here, once I get some courses under my belt. We are excited to see all the Lord has in store!

Over the past few months I clearly felt that the Lord was directing me to rest and take Sabbath, to let Him do a restorative work in me. Sometimes that is easier said than done! Having worked so hard with Irene and Angelo, I began to feel a bit lazy, as my afternoons kept turning up with some free time. My first response was the desire to fill up that time, but there was a confirmed, “No,” from the Lord. Instead, I read some novels. Took a lot of baths. Listened to podcasts. I felt like He wanted me to purposely rest. To purposely be fed by His Word and those teaching His word. And while the past month has had some stress and emotion tied to two different patients, I am coming into this new season rested and strong. The Lord knows what we need, even before we ask!

As Jon wraps up school, he is looking forward to a slow-down and a chance for his own Sabbath. While we still have 5, soon to be 6, patients, his “norm” from the past six months will slow down. I look forward to him receiving the same restoration I’ve experienced.

Lord willing, we will come to the United States in mid-November spiritually healthy and energetic. We so much look forward to connecting with all our supporters. It is such a special thing to get to see and hear about YOU!

As for Casa Ahava, we currently have five women and one man is coming back next week. Jon and a dear missionary friend, Felix, have started doing weekly worship and Bible study with the patients. I take my girls to dance class, but join when I can. It is a sweet time that keeps our community bonded together. Felix has also begun taking our patients that feel well enough on an outing every other week. They have gone to a couple beaches, markets, downtown, etc. It has been something Jon and I have desired, but our own schedules have not allowed to be consistent. We are so thankful for Felix’s heart and the blessing he is to our ministry!

This is going to be our bird aviary! The man in the navy shirt and the man in the orange shirt (both patients) joyfully built it!

So as to not bore you with tons of text, I’ll stop for now, but here’s to a revival of the blog! We hope to catch you up with some stories from the past months.

Thank you for your faithful love, prayers, and support. We have come to know intimately our own weaknesses, but in that the power of our Lord and Savior. May it be true of you!

 

 

August 18, 2018
Casa Ahava, Personal
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