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Author: Layne

Learning the Heart of Our Father… plus update

A Layne Post

Anaya is 12 days old today. Her presence in our lives is already both a blessing and a challenge. Just when my tiredness starts to take over, when it is 3 am and she is wanting her awake time, when I feel twinges of pain reminding me of my labor; Anaya wakes up and gives a little half smile, or giggles in her sleep, and my mercies are renewed. I am filled with more love and ready to lavish it on her. I explained to Anaya during one of our diaper changes how I am beginning to understand the heart of God our father even more because of her.

When I have to let her cry a little, because I know in the long run I am shaping her to be a self-assured and independent…

When I sit outside her bedroom door and ‘collect all her tears‘…

When I desire to pour all the knowledge I have into her…

Those are some of the exact things the Father does/desires for me. This little girl, Anaya, who burst into our lives on the 22nd of February is teaching me so much in such a short amount of time. I told Jon the other day, “You just can’t be selfish with a baby.” It is my love for her that motivates me to keep going, to keep giving. I am so thankful that the Lord loves me in such a way, that even when I am off schedule, off the ‘right path’, His love motivates Him to keep caring for me; to keep cleaning me up. And just when He is getting tired, the morning comes, and His mercies are renewed.

Anaya Hosanna. She causes me to look to God and give a shout of praise, just as the meaning of her name promised. It is my prayer that her life and presence may do the same for many others along the way.

Our peaceful, content girl

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Jon has returned to his visits to the hospital. Our family there joined in our celebration of our new daughter, as her proud Daddy showed photos from her first week with us.

A precious boy we love very much named Alexandre has been sent home. Jon was able to spend a couple days with him before his departure. He is not better. Our prayer is that he will get home, and the Lord will miraculously intervene and extend his life.  We plan to keep in touch via cell phones.

Alexandre = Best smile EVER

You may also remember Lucia and her father Longo, who went home at the end of January. I wanted to update you that she is still alive, and according to her father, doing well. She still has the tumor in her belly, but seems to be thriving at home away from the hospital and medication. We praise the Lord for this, since we were skeptical even of her survival on the journey home; it is truly a miracle. Her father is happy to be working again and providing for his family. When we speak with him, he is always full of giggles.

As for me, my ministry at the hospital has been put on hold for Anaya’s first few weeks. Soon I will begin pumping my milk, allowing Jon to take an afternoon feeding, and I will make 1-2 visits a week, while Jon remains at home with Anaya. At 5-6 weeks we will take Anaya up to the hospital in a carrier/sling and introduce her to our family there. Unfortunately, due to the sheer amount of people, and the fact that it is a hospital, we will not allow her to be held for another undefined amount of time.  You can pray with and for us to have wisdom in this area as the Lord continues to direct us.

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We love you guys and thank you for your expressed joy and celebration in the birth and arrival of Anaya. We look forward to introducing her in person to many of you in the USA at the end of the year.

 

A Post in Anticipation of Another Post

A Layne Post

I just wanted to give you guys a short heads up. Our precious Anaya will arrive this week, whether she comes on her own or by induction. If she has not come on her own by Tuesday, we will be starting an induction process. This does not mean she will absolutely come on Tuesday, however, I promise we will update as soon as we can and will include many pictures of our new larger family.

(Honestly, I’ve tried a thousand times to imagine holding our very own baby and kissing her face… I just can’t get there! It seem so unreal; the anticipation is killing me!)

We appreciate your prayers and support, especially with a few extra challenges that will come with birthing in Mozambique. We are thankful to our faithful God and place all our cares in His lap, trusting His perfect will.

Relational Ministry

A Layne Post

I apologize that this post is late this week. Kind of feels like it fits my current state of being. =) I am now 38 weeks pregnant, and the last week was a rough one for me.  Thankfully, however, the past few days have felt more ‘normal’ and energy has returned.

Most days last week I felt quite rotten and reluctantly made the decision to stay home from ministering to friends at the hospital everyday but Friday. It was difficult for me; however, I felt the need to listen to my body. When I did return to ministry at the hospital, I was greeted by concerned friends, hugs, and encouragement for the last weeks ahead of me. The women have filled me with plenty of advice for my day of labor! Ha!

How sweet it is to have a such a dear support system there among the patients. That is the beautiful thing about relational ministry, it goes both ways. Jon and I constantly pray to the Lord that we can be a blessing and support to the people at the hospital, and yet many times, we are the ones who walk away encouraged and ready to love the Lord even more.

I will continue to ask for your prayers, as our precious daughter will be arriving soon. I would love her entrance into this world to be surrounded by prayer and the presence of our Lord. I cannot wait to introduce her to you!

Lucia and Longo

A Layne Post

Meet Lucia

Lucia

Yes, she is gorgeous. This thirteen year old girl arrived at the hospital months ago, accompanied by her father. I remember the first day I met her; she was shy, yet captured my attention.  She had a bulging tummy, and honestly, I thought she could be pregnant. After a few visits, it became clear it was cancer… a HUGE tumor. Hope for recovery was small in our minds.

With time, she opened up. Her real mother had died, and currently her “second mother” took care of them, who I think might have been an Aunt. She had four sisters she missed a lot. She told me she liked to play at home. Innocent. Thankfully she was able to call home frequently.

Like any teen girl, she liked her nails painted, her earrings, her cute skirt. I remember one day realizing a skirt she was wearing was nearly identical to one I had, just shorter. I promised her I’d wear mine soon. When I did, she’d giggle as I told people we were twins.

Meet Longo

Longo

This is Lucia’s father. We called him “Pai de Lucia”  for so long before we found out his name. Longo quickly joined Jon’s Bible study, and thoroughly enjoyed his time with the men. I remember his eagerness to pray and the way he would hold his hands up to the Lord while doing so.

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Lucia struggled with Chemo. She would have five days at a time. It seems like some bodies just handle the strong medicine better. Lucia was not so fortunate, as she was unable to keep any food down, still vomiting whatever was left in her stomach. She would become so weak.

Her father was amazing. He would hold a bucket for her, fill her water, and just sit near her, cradling her head or wiping her sweat. He did more than many mothers I see. The worry and concern was evident on his face.

To our surprise, it always seemed like Lucia would bounce back in a matter of a day or two, and resume her playing outside and bright smile. How strong she was! She would always be anxious to see Anaya’s new photos and would ask how she was doing every time I visited.

Feeling Anaya move

But as we have seen frequently, it only takes one treatment and a turn for the worse. That time came for Lucia a couple weeks ago. She didn’t bounce back; the smile did not return. She could not eat, therefore, she became more and more weak. Together with her father, they decided they wanted to try and make it home, to the north of Mozambique.

We thought they had a plane arranged, but we found out Lucia did not have the identity card she would need to travel. This was devastating news. In desperation, they decided to attempt to ride bus 20 or so hours. Upon arriving at the bus station the next morning, the driver refused to allow them to make the trip. Lucia was in bad shape, already crying before the bus was moving, so they had to get off. Another devastating blow.

Our friend Alice quickly made some calls, and miraculously the Lord opened doors and provided a way for for Lucia to obtain a new ID card, which would allow her to ride the airplane. The next afternoon Jon received a phone call from Longo. He was giggling as he reported he and Lucia were sitting on the plane. Even Lucia was feeling better for the journey.

Currently they are at the hospital in the north, a 10 hour train ride from home, resting and getting final documents. They sound full of hope, as they should arrive home tomorrow. Not hope for life necessarily, but hope to be together as a family one more time.

God is good. He cares for Lucia and Longo.

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Please pray for them in the week(s) to come. Lucia’s life will likely not be long, and the last days painful away from the hospital and morphine. Pray for the presence of the Lord and His grace.

We miss them already.

If you have time you can go over to the “About Us” tab at the top of this page and see a new video we’ve posted about our lives here. We’ve a few pictures of Lucia there as well.

Struggling to See the Goodness

A Layne Post

I gotta be honest, sometimes I struggle to see the goodness of the Lord. In these moments, I exercise my faith; I make a deliberate choice to trust in Him, many times through tears. The past week or so has been like that for me.

Joanna, a 26-year-old friend at the hospital, died on Tuesday. I wish it would have been sooner. I’ve known her for about 5 or 6 months. When she came to the hospital this time, she was so thin, and her open wound from her amputated arm was bigger, more infected. She had been at home for two months; I’m not sure why she hadn’t come sooner.

There wasn’t anything anyone could do for her. I tried to ease some pain, make her comfortable in little ways such as bringing her favorite juice, or the red apples she liked to eat. (I couldn’t believe she could down the whole red apple! I would watch in amazement, happy for some satisfaction, though it was usually followed by some stomach discomfort.) She would say to me, “Amiga, estou mal,” which translates, “Friend, I am bad.” I would tell her understand, that I could see that she was bad, I could see that she was suffering. Sometimes someone just needs to be seen, to be heard.

She had this frown. It was Joanna. It was her being in pain. During her last few days, it was her frown I could recognize beneath the swollen face and mumbling words.

As it often does, it got to the point she wasn’t coherent. Every once in awhile she would make eye contact, and I would praise the Lord I was there to rub her arm. I didn’t want her to be alone… still I would leave her. I would sing songs over her, asking for the Holy Spirit to come, to fill her with joy, peace, and love. I would pray for visions of heaven, of good things, to be before her eyes. I would pray for the Lord to call her to Himself.

And then in the midst of those prayers, I would get angry and frustrated, not seeing any answers from the Lord. She still suffered. It still lasted a long time. I wasn’t with her when she passed.

Sometimes I struggle through the journey I’ve been called to walk. In the end, I love Him more… I really do, and I pray others have somehow felt His love through me.

This is a song we sang this week by an artist named Tim Hughes, and I feel like it expresses my current state well:

When the Tears Fall

I’ve had questions, without answers
I’ve known sorrow, I have known pain
But there’s one thing, that I’ll cling to
You are faithful, Jesus You’re true

When hope is lost, I’ll call You Saviour
When pain surrounds, I’ll call You healer
When silence falls, You’ll be the song within my heart

In the lone hour of my sorrow
Through the darkest night of my soul
You surround me and sustain me
My defender, forevermore

I will praise You, I will praise You
When the tears fall, still I will sing to You
I will praise You, Jesus praise You
Through the suffering still I will sing