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Monthly Archives: April 2012

When Sleep is Impossible

A Jon Post

I had surgery on my left shoulder a few years back. I remember waking up in agony, begging for a drug to numb the pain. I remember the slightest tremor in my wide, soft hospital bed sending knives through my left arm, shoulder, neck, and chest.

I remember the state-of-the-art morphine drip seemingly doing nothing.

I remember trying to sleep… sleep was by far the worst of it all. Awake after, at most, an hour of sleep  because of an uncontrollable quiver of my arm ripping at perfectly placed stitches. Awake after another hour because rolling slightly on the high quality mattress I slept on caused my shoulder to erupt in agony.

I remember trying to sleep… trying… for a month.

So when 16-year-old Antonio went into surgery this week for a tumor on his neck/shoulder,

I remembered…

On Tuesday his surgery went well, his daily text message informed me. On Wednesday morning his message seemed to indicate he was doing well.

Later that afternoon when I walked into the room he shares with 7 others in the surgery recovery ward I could see the toll it took on him to simply roll to his side so he could face me on his twin bed.

“How are you friend?” I asked, hopeful.

“Not great Uncle Jon.” came the reply, “It’s hard to sleep.”

I remembered…

And looking at his little bed that he shares with his faithfully attending dad I knew…

My memories are nothing compared to this.

Antonio’s weary eyes glanced up at me as I told him I wanted to pray for his rest. His lips tugged at a smile but even that effort seemed overwhelming for him.

Antonio’s smiling father walked in with some cookies he’d scrounged up for his son.

“Matakatira! (Good afternoon!)” he greeted me in his language, Mandão.

“Good afternoon friend! Are you well?” My broken barely coherent Mandão returned.

His eyes glanced over his son and I saw the worry there.

“I am well,” he replied, “but my son is not.”

He rattled off a new Mandão phrase that I didn’t understand yet and I smiled and reaffirmed my gratitude for his effort in teaching me his language.

“I was just about to pray for Antonio. Would you join me?” I asked.

A smile and a “Yes” later, our hearts heavy and our heads bowed, we prayed for rest.

And my words and groans joined with Antonio’s and his dad’s as we expressed how eagerly we wait for the redemption of our bodies.

And  because my words fail even now as I write this, I pleaded with The Spirit to groan with me and for Antonio’s rest.

For now, Antonio’s unredeemed body needs rest.

April 28, 2012
Hospital Ministry, Mozambique
4 comments

Update and Thanks

A Layne Post

We returned to the hospital on Monday after 2 weeks of being away. I don’t like being away for that long, but the health of our family and the patients undergoing Chemo was and is most important. It’s always good to catch up. It is going to be difficult for me when Jovie arrives, and we stay home for 6 weeks! Jon will have to keep me informed!

As I made my rounds, one lady recounted her difficult weekend of a having treatment and the hard days that followed, though she ended with a broad smile saying she was better now, gaining strength. Another friend held her head proud as she boasted of her outing that day; she had gone out to walk around town a little. I could tell she felt like her old self, even if only for an hour or so. Still another lay in her bed, unable to start treatment, needing other medication first; her counts weren’t good.  She was discouraged, as this should be her last treatment, but still a smile emerged. These women are so strong.

I ran into a a boy and his grandmother that were back for control, meaning he is finished with Chemo, but still comes every 3-6 months for a check and some tests. He looks great and is growing tall, which is such an encouragement to our hearts, which are so often weary of death.  I gave his grandmother a long hug, and she rubbed my protruding belly as she laughed. They are some of the first patients we knew. She knew me during my whole pregnancy with Anaya, giggled at every ultrasound photo, and now she is doing it again with Jovie. This time; however, only every few months, as she spends most of her time in her own home with her healthy grandson. Just awesome.

In other life news, I am 31 weeks pregnant and nearing the arrival of our little Jovie. It seems the last stretch will fly by. I am throwing a wedding shower for a dear friend of mine in a couple of weeks; Jon will return to the States for his brother’s bachelor party and wedding; then my Mom will arrive in the beginning of June to help with Anaya and daily needs as we ease into becoming a family of 4! What a sweet time of life, and I am so thankful we are all back in good health to enjoy it. The Lord has been gracious to our family.

And finally, I feel like I haven’t expressed lately our gratitude to you. Your love and prayers during the last few weeks was simply breathtaking. I truly believe the Lord heard your cries and moved on our behalf. We were strengthened, encouraged, and ultimately healed. Thank you for your faithfulness to us and to the Lord.

 

April 18, 2012
Hospital Ministry, Personal
3 comments

From My Back

 A Jon Post

So here I am laying on my back, hoping, waiting for the pain to go away. I went to the hospital last night. I had and still have trouble breathing deeply, my chest and back complaining loudly every time I try. Concerned about a possible pneumonia infection, the safest course seemed to get a doctor to say yes or no. Exams and an X-ray later, the doctor slapped the X-ray up on the wall and explained the good news and bad news. Good news, no infection in my lungs. Bad news, I have a pinched nerve/disk in my spine and every time I breathe deeply it pinches it more. The only thing the doctor could do was prescribe pain-killers… ibuprofen.

It’s been a tough week for the Heller family. On Monday we rushed Anaya to the hospital when SHE had trouble breathing and was throwing up and had a high fever. She had pneumonia in her lungs and was put on an emergency antibiotic and recovered remarkably fast. Layne wrote an excellent blog about that journey over on her African Gypsy blog. If you’d like to read more about what happened there she says it much better than I could.

I did have time to go to the hospital once this week. In the midst of all the hospital visits it was good to see friends there and hear them express how much they are concerned for Anaya and her health and tell me they are praying with us for her.

So here I am…

I think I’ll list the things that I noticed most this week as we pushed though a few difficulties:

1) Layne is an amazing mother and wife. Seriously. I wish all of you could see how selflessly she threw herself into caring for and loving Anaya and I as our health was compromised this week. She is almost 7 months pregnant and she hasn’t stopped to care for herself once in all of this. She has slept very little and has loved very much. I could not be more proud of her.

2) We have an amazing group of people who pray for us, both here in Maputo and around the world. We are overwhelmed by the responses we’ve been getting from people who have been praying for us this week, especially Anaya and her health. What a tremendous testimony to the Glory of God. Being a part of the communion of saints in this way is so powerful in drawing the lonely and forgotten to Him.

3) God is so so so good. I love that I can say that when I can barely breathe, when my chest and back are in pretty intense pain and when I can move very little without pain shooting through my torso. God is very very very good. I don’t deserve a healthy back, I don’t deserve such an amazing wife, neither I, Anaya or Layne deserve healthy lungs. And yet God continues to be so merciful in His gifts. If Anaya lives 1 year or 100, God’s mercy that He would give her to us, that He would minister in and through her, and that He would trust us with her life, is so great.

4) Pinched nerves really hurt. I know there are many who may read this who know better than I how frustrating it can be.

5) It’s really hard to watch your child sick. Getting IV ports, getting shots, getting oxygen masks pushed over faces, and not being able to explain any of it. That’s hard. Like above, I know there are so many who know this pain so much deeper than Layne and I.

6) Layne is an amazing wife and mother

7) God is really really really good.

April 7, 2012
Medical, Things we're dealing with
6 comments